19 Days and 500 Nights
by recklessfoundation
Summary: Rachel and Santana, were in love at least that is what Santana thought. After a receiving a text message both of their lives changed, one for better and the other for the worse.
1. Chapter 1

_Tell them I was happy  
And my heart is broken  
All my scars are open  
Tell them what I hoped would be  
Impossible, impossible  
_ _Impossible, impossible_

I should have seen it coming, all the signs were present. She had become distant, she was never home, and when she was she spent most of her time ignoring me or talking to her friends from school. We weren't communicating, and when we were fucking (because love was no longer an aspect of intimacy, and calling it sex would imply that to some degree pleasure was involved) you could see the disinterest and obligation in her eyes. When we were fucking it was about who would break the tension first by faking an orgasm, or on the rare occasion one of us actually experienced pleasure. I don't know how it got to this, I thought we were okay.

It wasn't always like this, we were happy and if it weren't for recent events I would even dare say we were in love. Or at least I thought we were, I gave her everything I could, everything I failed to give any of my exes. Thinking that for the first time I was part of a real and healthy relationship, but I guess somewhere along the way I fucked up. But I don't know where I never kept her a secret, it was never just sex for me, for the first time since Brittany I opened myself up in hopes of being loved. But again I was hurt, and left to tend my own battle wounds.

If I was being completely honest, it seemed to have started to spoil a few months after her college graduation. She had just graduated from NYADA she had just been offered a major role in an off- Broadway play, and she changed her social circles, and as a consequence she stopped inviting me to her cast parties. I didn't anything of it at the time, because I always felt like an outcast with all the superficial conversations and general atmosphere. But late did I realize she was just embarrassed to be seen with me, just a simple waitress and college dropout.

Instead most of the time she invited Quinn, a Yale graduate with a fancy literature degree, who actually was an up and coming screenplay writer. I should have seen this as a red flag, but why would I be suspicious of my best friend and my girlfriend, right? I mean I guess I am partly to blame for being naïve and ignoring that our relationship was experiencing difficulties.

But, I thought the problems would go away on their own. I mean we always spoke of having a future. Of conquering the world together, I thought she was my forever.

My reality came crashing down in a form of text,

 **1 New Message**

 **Rach**

 **Santana, It's not you it me.**

 **We are over.**

 **Sorry**

That's all I got after 3 years together, I got the most generic and cold, break up. I broke down in the diner. Dani one of the few true friends I have made in the city. Tried to calm me down, but whole world was shattered, I couldn't breathe, the ache in my chest, the whole world just stopped existing. I wanted to scream and shout, and just kept repeating to myself "this is not real". I sat on the floor, I lost all sense or reality, it was a nightmare and I just wanted to wake up.

I came back to my senses after Dani started wiping the tears off my face, I dint even know I was crying, she lifted me up and somehow we both ended at the front door of my apartment. She opened the door and sat down on couch.

I was brought back to my senses, I soaked in my surroundings, I was at my apartment. Then I looked over at who Dani was looking mortified, angry, and sympathetic all at once. She tried to lead me out of my apartment, feeling lost and to hurt function. I started following her out, but I stopped.

I heard the moans, and even though I haven't heard them in ages, I knew its owner. It was unmistakably Rachel's. I knew those were moans of utmost pleasure, pleasure she no longer experienced with me. It was the barely audible moans and pants that caught me off guard. The sounds that were so unfamiliar. It wasn't as if Rachel watched porn, there was someone in that room. Our room.

Curiosity and anger overruled my feelings of sadness, Dani looked fearful and tried to hold me back. I don't blame her in my current state only god know what I am capable of. After struggling for a bit Dani just followed me in.

And that's when I got answers to a question, I didn't want to know the answer too.

 _"..aww baby you are so tight….right there…. Baby I am almost cumming."_

There in my bed, fucking in our fucking bed were Quinn and Rachel fucking Berry. They were so dazed after their orgasmic experience, they to notice they had an audience. I didn't even try to break them out of their current state, I myself was too shocked to even attempt to speaking. My emotions were a fucking mess. My soul shattered, here in my home my best friend and recent ex fucking in my bed.

It was Rachel, in the process of rolling off Quinn, noticed Santana. Unable to read the expression written across Santana's face, started panicking. Seeing the panic in her lovers' face she follows Rachel's line of sight and sees Santana.

The tension in the room, the emotions radiating off the bodies, mostly hurt, guilt, and anger.

Quinn was the first to speak, "Santana, we can explain"

Santana didn't have it in her to fight, she simply grabbed Dani and left. She heard Rachel and Quinn try to catch her attention. But she couldn't stay there, she left filled with anger and sadness. She was never going to be the same, she been hurt and betrayed by the two people she trusted the most.

Dani led Santana to her apartment, and unconsciously Santana followed her. Dani laid her down on her bed, and in comfortable silence, cuddled a crying a Santana in her arms. Both girls knew Santana was never going to be the same, what she had thought impossible had become her reality. Rachel had broken her heart in the worse way possible, and again she found herself with no one to turn too. Quinn her once best friend had betrayed her trust in the worse way possible.


	2. Chapter 2

"Rach, baby talk to me"

After Santana walked in on them, and left without saying a word, Rachel has shut herself out. She won't even look at Quinn. Quinn has been trying to get her to open up, but for the past few hours. Rachel has been alternating between crying and silence.

"Quinn, please not now I need some alone time, my girlfriend just walked in on us, I need time to think"

Rachel just wanted to be left alone. After Santana walked in on her and Quinn. She has been feeling overwhelmed with guilt and pain. Seeing her girlfriend so hurt, and the fact that she did not even scream or yell that silence just made her feelings of guilt greater.

"Ex"

"What"

"She is your ex-girlfriend, Rach you did not cheat on Santana, you broke it off before we did anything"

"Quinn that really does not make me feel better"

Reality hit Rachel hard, Santana was no longer hers. She probably lost the only person who was truly loyal to her that has been there for her throughout her college career. The one person who never failed to cheer her up after a bad audition or when she did not get the part she wanted. Santana was no longer hers, and that was her new reality. She no longer had Santana, because who would in their right mind forgive what she had done.

"Rachel I understand this is hard but you need to give it sometime" And with that statement all Quinn has managed to do is make a guilt-ridden Rachel slightly angry.

"Seriously, Quinn do you really understand what I am going through, I seriously hurt and more than likely lost the one person who for the past few years has cared and been there for me, a person always made my happiness and well-being her priority. the only thing she ever asked of me is not hurt her, and that is the one thing I did .So please do yourself a favor and stop telling me what feel and how you understand what i am going through." Rachel's tone was weak and slightly angry raising her voice at Quinn.

"You think I don't get what you are going through, are you forgetting that I also fucked over my best friend, my most loyal friend, grow up Rachel, you are not the only one affected, stop being so fucking selfish" Quinn said slightly annoyed "Call me when you have calmed down"

An angry Quinn stormed out of the apartment. If they weren't in their current predicament, Rachel would have given that a 10/10. But right now Rachel was left alone to cry in her room, to try and rationalize today's events. She had broken her now **ex** -girlfriend's heart and had her first fight with Quinn. Think that a few hours ago she was happy being in her ignorant bliss.

She could not help but compare her fight with Quinn to her fights with Santana. Anytime Rachel and Santana had a serious fight, no matter who was at fault, Santana would kiss Rachel's temple, say I love you, and leave to give Rachel the space Santana Knew she needed. It was always served as a reassurance for Rachel that things were going to be okay. But this time there was no reassurance, nothing. It was just Rachel and her thoughts.

She knew things were never going to be the same, she had broken the promise she made to Santana. They had fights like any other couple but after 1 or 2 hours they both came to there sense and it was like it never happened. The biggest fight they had was about 1 year into the relationship, Santana wanted a dog, but Rachel did not want the responsibility. Rachel knew she would most likely have to take care of it since she had more free time, but Santana thought Rachel had no intentions of staying with her in the long term, they did not speak for the whole day. it wasn't until Santana came home late that night that they both shared the insecurities they had with there relationships, and both girls admitted they were scared of where the relationship was headed, since they have had bad relationships in the past. That was the same day they promised each other that they wouldn't hurt each other and even talked about their future plans, conquering the world and taking over Hollywood by storm.

 _Flashback_

 _"Promise me, that you won't hurt me, Rachel I love you but if you don't see a future with us let me go now before I'm to invested" Santana said with fear in her eyes of what the response was going to be._

 _Rachel smiled and took a hold on Santana's hand._

 _"Baby, just because we not ready for a puppy, does not mean I do not see a future with you. I just know we won't be able to care for it properly with our schedules, and most of the responsibility would fall on me, and that would not be fair. Trust me when I say I love you, and I want to be with you. I know we only been together for a year, I really do see myself with you, in a big house, conquering the entertainment industry. We are going to be Pezberry #1 hollywood couple. Just you and me. I promise i wouldn't do anything to jeopardize our relationship. I promise i wouldn't hurt you like that". Rachel end her little spiel kissing Santana's knuckles._

 _As soon as Rachel, finished kissing her knuckles. Santana pulled in her for a kiss full of passion and love, putting all her love into that one kiss. It was soft and tender and slow._

 _End flashback_

Rachel in a moment of slight hysteria laughed at the memory thinking " i guess i was right about not getting the puppy", and soon that laughter turned in sadness. Seeing the mess that her life had become.


	3. Chapter 3

It has been about week since the Rachel and Quinn incident. Santana is barely keeping it together. She has been staying with Dani in the meantime. Since Dani is the only person she feels comfortable enough with to see her in such a vulnerable state.

Dani and Santana met at the diner where they work, and they had a short lived fling, but decided they were much better off as friends.

Dani has been covering for Santana at the Diner, but while she feels bad for her friend, she cannot keep allowing Santana to self-destruct, especially over something in which she did no wrong. After seeing her friend in a state of distress for too long, she decided it was time to do something about it. Walking in on Santana curled up in a ball on her couch, she thought how to approach the topic. They haven't spoken about what happened, and Dani knew better than to push Santana into talking.

"So I don't know about you but being broke and living in New York City, isn't really a good combination" says Dani.

Dani wasn't really the emotional type, so this probably her best attempt

Confused Santana looks up at Dani and says "What?"  
"Santana you haven't gone to work in a week, and I don't know how being unemployed is going to help your situation, the last thing you need is more stress"

Santana has been so invested and occupied in her thoughts that she didn't even feel like a week had gone by. It had all been a blur, and suddenly a wave of guilt hit her, she had been living off Dani for a week. She hasn't done anything to help, and it's not like they made great money working at the diner. She has been so caught up with her emotions and problems, she forgot the world goes on.

"Shit, Dani I am sorry I promise to pay you back for everything"

Santana did have the money but all her stuff was at her apartment, well her old apartment.

"Santana, don't worry about paying me back, just get your ass back to the diner, you are my friend and I love you, but if I have to work another double shift, I will kill someone" frustration clearly in her voice just thinking about her job

"Wait, have you been covering for me?" Santana responds with a surprised and confused tone.

"why you sound so surprised, I mean you else is going to do it?"

"thanks again, It's just that someone has done something that nice for me in a while"

"Well don't get to use to it, I can only deal with some many birthday parties"

Santana slightly smiles at Dani's comment, it was her first time smiling in a week, and Dani was pleased with herself. The only problem Santana's uniform is in her old apartment. She knew she would have to go at one point to retrieve her stuff. But she still had to look for a place to stay, she did not want to over stay her welcome at Dani's apartment.

"Thanks, to you we both have to a free day tomorrow, do you think you can come apartment hunting with me. I mean you grew up in the city so you know what are the good and bad places, and I don't want to bother you anymore. I know you probably want to relax, but I would really appreciate it though, I mean—"

Dani cut Santana off mid ramble, a habit she picked up after her exposure to Rachel.

"Did you always talk this much, damn like, seriously chill"

"I just—"

Dani lifted her hand motioning to stop

"Santana I have an extra bedroom, and I don't pay rent because my uncle owns the building, you can stay here, you are not bothering me at all. Plus, you are like one of the few people I tolerate so, you good"

Honestly Dani is heaven sent, but Santana still needed to get her stuff.

"Once again thanks"

"No problem, but get all emotional with me, the best I can offer you is an awkward hug"

"I think I'll pass"

They spent the rest of the evening watching TV talking randomly.

* * *

Santana hated waking up early, but she knew it had to be done. She knew Rachel's schedule and knew that the small brunette was going to be at rehearsals. She decided it was best not to run into Rachel. Yes, it was cowardly but she had just gotten her emotions under control and just being in the apartment they had so many memories, was going to be overwhelming. Adding Rachel to the mix was not a suitable option, and something she was not equipped to handle.

She left Dani's apartment, well their now shared apartment and headed to retrieve her stuff.

Santana was not excited nor truly prepared to enter the place she had once called home. Luckily for her the locks had not been changed. She wasn't exactly surprised to find that Rachel and Quinn had taken down all the pictures and any physical proof of Santana and Rachel's relationship. It seemed that they were anticipating for Santana's coming. Santana's clothes were packed in suitcases and with a note signed by Rachel and Quinn, that simply stated "sorry" for everything" without a doubt written by could only laugh because seriously who thinks anything of this magnitude can be remedied with a simple 'sorry'.

Seeing that everything she owned was packed, she decided not to spend anymore time than she needed in that dreaded place. The only thing she was missing that was the guitar she had brought to New York and a box she hid in her bedroom closet that hopefully they didn't find.

Walking into the bedroom was a nightmare. As soon as she opened the door the memories came back to her, and she was stuck reliving that very moment. Seeing a panting and moan Quinn, while Rachel was kissing her way up Quinn's body. It got worse every time she thought about it. She found the box and quickly left the confines of the bedroom taking one good look at her old life, and looking forward to new beginnings.

She left her key on the counter seeing that she no longer has any use for it, and placing the note Quinn had written below the key.

* * *

Santana knocked on her apartment door, since Dani has yet to give her a copy of the key. Dani opened the door clearly showing all the signs indicating that she was sleeping and just woken up.

"Jesus, why were you out so early"

Santana was amused by Dani's behavior, just raised her eyebrows and smirked, never responding walking in with her stuff. Dani did not notice Santana bringing in her stuff and went back to her room.

Santana decided to personalize her room, and afterwards looked at the box she had hid in her apartment. the box contained two things a ring box and money. She counted the money she had saved up in hopes of taking Rachel on a romantic trip to London. Rachel always talked about wanting to go, and she wanted to surprise her with a trip on their four year anniversary. She had managed to save close to ten thousand over the past few years. She counted some money to give to Dani for all that she done this week, and for bills.

Then Santana took the ring box, she was planning on proposing on their trip to England. She had it all planned out the trip the proposal she usually wasn't a sap, but that changed after being with Rachel. She wanted to be the perfect girlfriend, be caring, loving and sappy, she just wanted to make Rachel happy. that had always been her goal and she would move mountains if she had too. The ring is the only physical reminder she wanted to have of her relationship with Rachel. Sure Rachel had give her small tokens of appreciation and some gifts, but she left them, she doesn't want to have them.

The Ring would serve to remind her that love isn't for her, and that she should stop trying. It was a reminder of the hurt and pain that came with falling in love. Because fuck love. She decided that finding love was no longer important she needed to work on herself she couldn't be a waitress forever. Putting aside the ring and the money, she picked up her note book and started writing.

After a few hours, Dani woke up and heard some music in the background. Further investigating the noise she saw it come from Santana's room. Quietly she opened the door, to find Santana singing a song she never heard before. It must be new or something. Finding the song rather beautiful, even though the tone of the song was clearly sad.

Seeing Santana sing with so much passion was mesmerizing. She had never seen the Latina so invested in any other song the way she had sang this one. Quickly want to capture Santana and the rawness of her impromptu performance she recorded the Latina.

She left no time to regret  
Kept her lips wet  
With her same old safe bet  
Me and my head high  
And my tears dry  
Get on without my gal  
You went back to what you knew  
So far removed from all that we went through  
And I tread a troubled track  
My odds are stacked

I'll go back to black

We only said goodbye with words  
I died a hundred times  
You go back to her  
And I go back to  
I go back to us

I love you much  
It's not enough  
You love blow, and I love puff  
And life is like a pipe  
And I'm a tiny penny rolling up the walls inside

We only said goodbye with words  
I died a hundred times  
You go back to her  
And I go back to  
We only said goodbye with words  
I died a hundred times  
You go back to her  
And I go back to

Dani decided that the song and Santana's singing were so good she would upload it online. Little did she know the how that would change their lives.

* * *

It had only been two days since Dani uploaded the video and it had already had 5 million views. Santana was not speaking to her at the moment, on the grounds that Dani violated her personal space.

"Santana, I know you are not happy with me right now, but i got news that i think you want to hear"

Santana didn't reply, even though she was mad at Dani, she meant no harm she bit flattered she thought highly of her song, and with all the shit Dani has done for her lately she was grateful.

"Ok, i can see the excitement in you face, anyway I am just going to tell you, as you know the video I posted of you has gone viral...ooh a nod ok so you are communicating with me this is progress... anyway moving on I got a call for a talent scout"

That definitely got Santana's attention, while Rachel was auditioning for plays, Santana went to open mic nights. She loved singing it was such a relaxing experience for her.

Dani continued "anyway you have a few offers you might want to consider" Santana had not replied she got up, Dani thought she was going to her room, but instead was surprised when Santana gave her an extremely tight hug.

Speaking for the first "I wasn't really mad, messing with you was just to good to pass up, I mean you did the dishes for once, I know i have been saying this a lot lately but thanks"

"Also i think this is a good time to say, that i call dibs on being your manager"

Santana couldn't help but just laugh.


	4. Chapter 4

After rehearsals Rachel found herself coming home to an empty apartment. Since her fight with Quinn they have been a bit distant. In all honesty they have been more invested in trying to reconcile with Santana then their relationship. They have been calling her and texting her nonstop, but the Latina had blocked them on all social media accounts. They even went to the diner she worked, but after a week of Santana not showing up they assumed she had quit. Dani was not giving them any information, and ignoring their existence. Not one of the gleeks had heard from Santana, no one had any info. Quinn had given up quicker than Rachel had causing another fight between the couple.

Quinn had constantly had to remind Rachel that Santana is in fact her ex, apart from being a friend she is her ex-girlfriend. Quinn doesn't want to argue with Rachel, but she is not okay with Rachel trying reconcile with Santana. She knew that Santana truly loved her, and although Rachel claims to love Quinn, she has her doubts. Why would she be trying so hard to get the Latina back in her life shouldn't they be focusing on their relationship instead. Sure losing Santana was terrible but they knew what the outcome would be they went behind her back, they betrayed her.

When the affair started things between her and Rachel were great, it was happiness fueled by ignorance and denial. Since Rachel and Quinn didn't have sex, it helped justify their actions. They disguised their affair as just friendship.

They didn't plan for things to happen the way they did. Quinn had been telling Rachel to break it off with Santana about a month into when they started dating. But Rachel decided that she needed to distance herself Santana first, in hopes Santana would break it off instead of her. They wanted to make a slow transition between Santana's and Rachel's break up, to Quinn's and Rachel's relationship. In hopes to still maintain their friendship with the Latina.

But after a few months lust finally took over. Quinn didn't want Rachel to be deemed a cheater so she came up with the idea to send Santana the text. She didn't think Santana would leave in the middle of her shift to come to the apartment. They just wanted to give into the physical cravings they had, without thinking of the consequences.

Any chance they had at reconciling with the Latina, disappeared when she took her things from the apartment. Rachel didn't want to take down the pictures she had up on the walls of her and Santana.

 _"Rach, I am going to take these pictures down" Quinn said, she had been packing Santana's stuff much to Rachel's dislike._

 _"Wait why?"_

 _"Maybe because your new girlfriend doesn't want to see pictures of you and your ex all over the apartment" frustration clearly heard in her voice_

 _Rachel sighed, walking over to Quinn hugging her from behind, "I'm sorry babe, take them down and put next to the box with the rest of her stuff"_

 _Rachel was tired of fighting with Quinn, there relationship had taken a hit with the whole Santana dilemma._

 _"Rach, I know this is hard, but this is what we wanted, we wanted to be an US, and now that Santana is no longer an issue or obstacle we need to enjoy ourselves and be happy. This is what we wanted, what you wanted, for us to be together, right?" Even though Rachel had picked her, she was unsure of how strong her relationship with Rachel had been, especially in the last few days._

 _"I want this"_

 _Rachel turned Quinn around and kissed her, and while it was meant to be reassuring it was a kiss with a hint of doubt._

Once Rachel had made it home, she noticed Santana had left all the gifts Rachel had given her in the course of the relationship. All the plush animals, cards, jewelry, that Rachel had given Santana, were in the same box she packed them. She also saw the Santana's key, on top of the note Quinn had written.

All of Santana's things were gone, and so were her hopes of ever seeing the Latina gone too. Rachel had been doing a lot of thinking lately, Santana's disappearance from her life had more of an impact than she thought it would. She didn't realize how intertwined their lives had been. Santana did so much for her, and never did she say thank you. In the beginning she did, but as their relationship continued she was just accustomed to how Santana had treated her. Santana cooked, cleaned, kept the house in order, Rachel never had to lift a finger. Santana had treated her right, she was a great listener and her best friend aside from Kurt. To quote the Latina, Santana was Rachel's "homie, lover, and friend". She knew she committed a mistake, the moment she saw Santana leave the apartment that day.

Rachel knew why she broke it off, it had nothing to do with how Santana had treated her or her lack of feelings for the Hispanic, but her own selfishness and need for success. She wanted more than just a loyal fan, she wanted the connections and networking that came from being with a person like Quinn, an upcoming screenwriter, not an undecided waitress. She put her career and image above Santana. A mistake she would never be able to undo, her biggest regret.

Quinn offered opportunities for her career in Broadway to advance, they knew people of the same social circles. Rachel had it easier with Quinn, they shared a lot of the same things and in common, and had similar goals. Rachel's need for success overruled her capacity to love. She had convinced herself that she didn't love Santana, and could grow to love Quinn. After all Quinn would give her the life she always wanted fame and wealth.

After her break up with Brody, Rachel had no longer placed relationships as a priority. Her career would come above anything and anyone, and that is the reason she now finds herself feeling empty and alone. Regardless who is in her company, no one will be able to replace the void Santana has left in her.

Rachel decided to go online in hopes to distract herself and occupy her mind with celebrity gossip instead of Santana. Only to be bombarded with pictures of the Latina. Apparently Santana was an up and coming musician, after her video went viral. She had been listed as an artist to watch, Rachel decided to watch the video.

Rachel was entranced with Santana's voice, and her performance, never had she seen the Latina so full passion while singing. But listening to the song she realized how much pain the song expressed, and Rachel was the cause of it. She looked on her phone to ask Quinn if she had heard the news about Santana, only to find a bunch of messages of the old gleeks asking about Santana and congratulating her, no one knew that Rachel and Santana had broken up aside from Quinn and Dani, feeling defeated Rachel forgot about texting Quinn. Instead she found herself crying herself to sleep.

When Quinn arrived she found a sleeping Rachel, she looked so peaceful she didn't want to wake her. Noticing her phone on the edge of the bed she decided to remove the object before it could fall. Looking at the all the notifications, she realized Rachel and found out about Santana's new found fame.

Quinn wasn't stupid she knew that Rachel cared for Santana more than she let on, but Quinn had been crushing on Rachel for a while and she would be damned if She left her chance slip away. Sure she felt a little guilty that she had to ruin her friendship, but if she got Rachel that's all that matters. Plus she cant be the only one blamed for the actions committed by two.


	5. Chapter 5

Santana was nervous this was going to be her first televised interview. She knew they were going to ask her a few questions about her album and she really wasn't prepared. She really hadn't talked about the album, although it didn't take a genius to guess that the album clearly expressed heartbreak.

The songs she had written were a way to cope with what had happened in her past, she never truly discussed nor talked about her 'break-up' with Rachel, not even with Dani, she learned that the best way to deal with her feelings is simply to put it into song.

Santana had to admit there was a positive outcome from her break-up, she had become a star in her own rights. She was just starting out but, she had a decent fan following and her new gig afforded her the luxury of leaving the diner behind. She had finally done something with her life, she no longer had to be ashamed of her occupation. But even with her new found success she couldn't help but think about Rachel. She thought about how if maybe she had gotten her act together sooner she would have had her by her side.

Santana wasn't stupid, she knew the reason Rachel left her was because Quinn was more successful. She had given quite a lot of thinking about her relationship with Rachel, and in her own way managed to find some sort of closure.

"Santana" Dani had become Santana's manager, and like Santana, Dani was more than happy to leave the Diner behind. She was in charge of making Santana look good, and right now it was proving rather difficult. Santana was lost in deep thought, and she was about to perform in shortly and needed to get ready.

"Santana" Dani repeated herself for what felt like the tenth time. Clearly Santana had not been paying and decided it was time.

Dani flicked Santana's nose

That got her attention Santana clearly annoyed and caught off guard by the situation Faced Dani

"Dani, what the F—"

"Santana, think about where you are, you are going to perform in less than 5 minutes and you have a follow-up interview, get your head in the game. You are going to go out there and do what you do best, sing. And handle the questions as best as you can. I know this is a sensitive topic for you, but just try to be honest and be yourself. The nice you not the bitchy you , okay now smile and walk towards the stage"

Santana hadn't really been worried about the stage, but the interview had started bringing up old feelings she had thought she buried. She didn't want to know what the questions were going to be beforehand, she didn't want to be more nervous than she already was. But the fear of the unknown is taunting her, all her old feelings of anger, sadness, and regret all started to surface, and she need to keep her emotions in check.

Making her way to the stage, every step felt heavy, and full of emotions, but she needed to keep it together. She had performed before this was no different, she looked at Dani who just gave her some thumbs up.

The presenter announced her name and she was pulled out of her thoughts, and recognizing the tune of her song, like a reflect she began to sing. She had yet to sing this song live and thought it was the perfect song to couple her first big interview. It might not be the most popular song on her album but it was what she accredited as her own personal masterpiece.

 ** _For you I was a Flame_**

 ** _Love is a losing game_**

 ** _Five story fire as you came_**

 ** _Love is a losing game_**

Dani observing from the ide saw so much emotion and power in her voice, she knew that like a movie in her mind. Santana was reliving her relationship with Rachel.

Santana remember the first kiss she had shared with Rachel it was full of passion, want and need. They were both eager exploring not only their feelings but there wants and needs. But it couldn't compare to the first time the had slept together, well made love. Santana had waited for Rachel to be ready, and she thought she would forever associate that moment with happiness, and not the sadness she feels now, but nonetheless that was a precious memory she would always hold dear.

Their first time was incredible, even though Santana's nerves got the best of her.

 _She was kissing down Rachel's neck, her hands gently massaging Rachel's perfectly round breast over her bra, she was unconsciously removing Rachel's shirt, and when Rachel did stop she continued her explorations of Rachel's upper body. Straddling Rachel capturing her warm mouth in a heated and passionate kiss while continuing her ministrations on Rachel's upper body. It was when Rachel removed her shirt, suddenly Rachel didn't have a bra on, and she became hyper-aware of their current situation. No words were exchanged, they came to a silent agreement._

 _Santana moved to undo Rachel's pants and when she saw no hesitation in Rachel's eyes she hooked her fingers around the waistband of her banks, effectively removing them never taking her eyes off Rachel's body. When all the clothes were removed all she heard was her heart beating fast, and she was nervous. Sensing her lover's nervousness Rachel pulled her forward adjusting themselves on the bed. Santana landed on top of Rachel, there nude bodies in contact for the first time. Looking into Rachel's eyes one last time for assurance, she saw no fear only need and want, her eyes were dark and full of lust._

 _It took a moment for Santana to process that Rachel was beneath her, and was looking absolutely beautiful, no words can describe the beauty that was Rachel, she was a goddess. And she right there she decided she wanted to give Rachel everything, and more importantly make her feel loved._

 _It started with a gentle and tender kiss, leading to open mouth kisses down her abdomen, and her hands descending gently above her thighs. When both Santana's hands and mouth had reached their intended destination, she looked one last time at Rachel._

 _Santana kissed her way up Rachel's thighs, while slowly using her hands to open Rachel's legs. Kissing and nipping at the inside of her thighs, smelling Rachel's arousal seeing her wetness. Finally giving into temptation Santana licked Rachel's slit from top to bottom. That's when Rachel's moans became Santana's favorite sound, and of course Rachel's taste had become her new addiction._

 _She continued to lick Rachel's center, and slowly began to enter her tongue deeper, she kept deepening her licks, she had used her left had to keep Rachel in place, while her right slowly made her way to Rachel's entrance._

 _Moving her mouth to Rachel's clit, Santana began licking and gently sucking, while she plunged two fingers into Rachel's warm entrance. After a few strokes Rachel came. It wasn't until seeing Rachel in her post-orgasm haze had she realized her had come too, it was the first time she had come without direct simulation. And the flame of passion Santana thought she had for the diva had become a full on house fire._

 ** _One I wished, I never played_**

 ** _Oh, what a mess we made_**

 ** _And now the final frame_**

 ** _Love is a losing game_**

Unfortunately, no matter how many good times she had with the small brunette it will now always be accompanied, tainted by her last memory of Rachel and Quinn. That was the end, what she thought would be a lasting romance had ended in tragedy. At time she found herself wishing she never fell for Rachel in the first place.

 ** _Played out by the band_**

 ** _Love is a losing hand_**

 ** _More than I could stand_**

 ** _Love is a losing hand_**

Santana had tried being in love twice and both times she has failed. First Brittany now Rachel, was she falling for the wrong people or was she just not enough.

 _ **Self-professed profound**_

 _ **Till the chips were down**_

 _ **Know you're a gambling man**_

 _ **Love is a losing hand**_

Maybe love was just something made up, something people proclaimed. Because how can you define love, there really isn't a universal meaning. It just something that people made up, yet Santana found herself feeling empty. How can something that is fake hurt so bad? She had used her heart as currency, but it proved not to be enough, and in the end she lost it once more. Her heart shattered and past the point of recovery. She had only just finished healing her first heartbreak, only to be broken once more. Not only by Rachel but her best friend as well, she had lost two of the most important people in one sweep.

 _ **Though I battle blind**_

 _ **Love is a fate resigned**_

 _ **Memories mar my mind**_

 _ **Love is a fate resigned**_

Santana fell in love with Rachel quickly, and maybe that's why it was destined to end. She fell in love blindly and was quick to always put Rachel's needs above her own. If she would have known she was going to suffer and fell like shit, she might have been a bit more selfish.

 _ **Over futile odds**_

 _ **And laughed at by the gods**_

 _ **And now the final frame**_

 _ **Love is a losing game**_

Santana no longer had any interest in getting her heart broken, she had given up on ever finding true love. Love was just mocking her and she honestly isn't equipped to handle another heart break. Her relationship was her last chance at happiness, and all that she was given was a tragedy. She had gambled with her heart twice, and so far the payout had been pain.

* * *

Love is a Losing Game- Amy Winehouse


	6. Chapter 6

Rachel was sitting at home waiting for Kurt, Quinn has been in LA working on some show. It was her first major gig and Rachel was happy for her, even if it meant spending the next three weeks in LA. She actually relieved when Quinn told her she was going to be away from New York for a while. Of course the random "I miss you" and "I love you" texts were exchanged, but they needed this time apart. It actually made their relationship easier, it gave her space to breathe, there was less pressure now that they were apart. They had moved to fast in the relationship considering how it started, they went from sneaking around to living together it was a great jump. With no time in between for her to recover from her break-up with Santana. It was needless to say that her life was a fucking mess. It was to many things at once.

The door rang bringing her out of her thoughts, Kurt had probably arrived. It been awhile since they had hung out. Kurt brought wine and after greeting him and inviting him inside, while he sat down on the couch she had gone to the kitchen and fetched two wine glasses.

Kurt's weakness was gossip so he immediately turned on the TV flipping through the Channels to watch celebrity gossip. But he never made it to the gossip channel, as he landed on Santana's interview. Kurt had been aware much like anyone who owned a phone that Santana had become somewhat of an internet sensation, it was always a sore subject for Rachel, so he still didn't know what happened. According to Rachel it was a mutual break-up and her relationship with Quinn was an outcome she hadn't expected. Everyone was a bit surprised about Rachel and Quinn's relationship, especially so soon after her break-up but he didn't question it. But he had noticed that she had changed she was no longer the bubbly happy Rachel, that she was with Santana. But every time he tried to talk about it Rachel had changed the subject.

Kurt had tried to talk to Santana about it, upset that she had hurt his best friend but she was nowhere to be found and she couldn't be reached. Kurt thought Rachel and Santana were meant, he had always seen them happy even though to his surprise when Rachel was the more guarded one in the relationship. It was clear for anyone to see that the two brunettes cared for each other, more notably on Santana's end, who always put Rachel first.

The only reason he knew was alive was because of the video of her singing, in which the viewer could tell Santana was caught off guard, it was beautiful song, that gave made Kurt doubt that Rachel's version of the break up isn't completely true. And now Santana was being interviewed on her album, and Kurt had to admit that the songs she had released so far were pretty damn good.

Rachel had returned with two glasses of wine in hand, at sat next to Kurt on the couch, Kurt noticed how her face and whole demeanor had changed when she noticed Santana on screen. She tried to mask her emotions but Kurt knew better, her performance had just finished and they were going into a commercial break.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Kurt asked

"No"

They sat in slightly uncomfortable silence until Santana appeared back on screen

 _Interviewer: "wow, what a magnificent performance, I am honored that you said yes to this interview with us"_

 _Santana: "thanks for inviting me"_

Rachel was staring at the TV intently, this is as close as she will get to Santana viewing her through a TV screen, and that idea alone scared her. Because Santana was so close yet so far, but she rather look at Santana through a TV screen then not at all. Seeing Santana on that screen was a bittersweet moment for Rachel.

 _Interviewer: "So I must say you made quite an impact online in just a week you video had over 15 million views, so how was that experience for you, I can only imagine how your life changed."_

 _Santana: "It was weird I had to admit, mostly because it was my friend Dani that uploaded the video and I had no idea about it until she could no longer keep it a secret. It's not a bad experience, its just that a lot more people know your name… I was able to share my feelings with the world, and the best part is that some people can relate to my songs."_

Rachel stopped paying attention to the interview and took in Santana appearance, she looked stunning and beyond gorgeous. Her hair was untied and in loose curls, her lips were beyond kissable, Rachel missed the days that they were hers. She had on a relatively red dress that showed the right amount of leg and cleavage.

She was taking in Santana's appearance; she was looking at the person that was her tormentor, the person who reprogrammed her body to only feel pleasure with her touches, the only person that could satisfy her. God did she miss the Latina, and every day she was reminded of what she had lost. She only prayed that Santana wouldn't find someone new, Rachel knew her thoughts were selfish, she was stuck in this relationship with Quinn, but she longed for someone else.

Even though no one might agree with her she honestly thought she was doing what was best, only that she only thought of something convenient for her she didn't take into consideration Santana. She wanted to improve her chances of being on Broadway, improve her life and as a secondary effect improve Santana's life. She would have been able to maintain both of them, provide for her partner. If she was famous enough she could get Santana out of diner, and hopefully get her another job other than being a waitress. Maybe the way she went about it was wrong, but she was tired of people questioning her relationship with Santana. And Quinn was a more logical choice.

Rachel brought her attention back to the interview

 _Interviewer: "…does the song 'Love is a losing game' accurately portray your view on love?"_

 _Santana: "At the moment, I think it does, I have been in two relationships were I have been heartbroken, and I just feel that love isn't for me, it's like no matter how I act I always end up hurt, and I just don't know what to think of love right now. I don't know if it is me or maybe I am just falling for the wrong people, and right now I don't think I can handle being in a serious relationship at the moment. But who knows maybe someone will come along and change my mind in the future."_

That answer stung Rachel and made her feel worse, she had made Santana think love is not real and maybe even worse that Santana feels she can't be loved. She had broken the confident Latina, to the point where she doesn't want to pursue another relationship, that made Rachel slightly happy, because it meant Santana was going to be single, and maybe one day they can be together again.

Her hopes were quickly diminished after Santana answered the next question.

 _Interviewer: "So we did a little research here and found out that you went to high school with screenwriter and director Quinn Fabray ,and Rachel Berry who is currently headlining her own off-broadway show, you guys are quite successful in your fields, do you keep in touch with any of your ex-classmates?"_

 _Santana: "Yes they were many talented students at McKinley, and I don't keep in touch with my classmates, we lost touch over the years"_

 _Interviewer: "Oh would you like to have a mini reunion with them maybe catch up sometime"_

 _Santana was getting uncomfortable with this line of questioning but she had to maintain a straight face, and keep her composure._

 _Santana: "If I run into one of them sure I would catch up, but we grew apart for a reason and trying to rekindle a friendship would be hard right now given how much time our careers take up"_

Rachel understood that was Santana's way of saying I never want to see them again. Rachel had made a choice and now she had to live with it. Rachel couldn't contain her emotions and started crying forgetting Kurt was there.

Rachel broke down and proceeded to tell Kurt everything. After hearing everything Kurt was mad and had very little sympathy for Rachel, but that was his best friend.

"Rachel I love you but what you did was stupid, not only did you fuck up your perfectly good relationship, but you ruined a childhood friendship, without a good cause, because if you were in love with Quinn, we would be having a different conversation, but you are clearly still in love with Santana, and I know if I were Santana I wouldn't take you back"

"Blaine cheated on you and you still took him back"

"yeah, but even though you technically didn't cheat, you are still using Quinn and that's unfair to her, plus Santana caught you and Quinn in your bed, and only god knows what went through her mind at that moment"

"but-"

"but nothing I already told you, have no real justifications for what you did"

"I know I was just tired, of people looking down on my relationship with her, and I was scared"

"well the problem with listening to people's opinion about your relationship, is they are not the ones giving you what Santana was giving you, which was unconditional love and care which you happily returned, and now you are stuck in a relationship you don't even want"

"You never know I can grow to love Quinn"

"But Quinn isn't Santana"

Rachel can only hope that Santana doesn't find someone new, and has the patience to wait for Rachel to make everything right.

* * *

A/N: Sorry for the inconsistent updates,I have been all over the place these last few days, and with no internet connection. Also Constructive criticism and suggestions are always welcome. Thank You for supporting my first fic. :)


	7. Chapter 7

After the televised interview, someone found an old photo of Rachel and Santana with the caption "Happy Anniversary", which showed the couple in a very cozy position. Needless to say there has been a lot of speculation regarding what happened with the couple, and absurd rumors. Luckily Quinn and Rachel have yet to make their relationship officially public, allowing for that aspect of the break-up to stay hidden. That is what was bothering the Latina the most, having the people know that Rachel left her for Quinn her best friend. While Quinn's identity remained a mystery, people still knew.

So far all that is known, or at least assumed is that Santana's new album is based on her past relationship with Rachel. This has been troubling for the Latina, who now can't escape the questions regarding her past relationship. People are constantly asking her on social media, and the Paparazzi had made Santana their new target. Both Rachel and Santana have gained popularity due to the whole "scandal" much to Santana's disapproval. Santana and Rachel have yet to discuss their past with the public, both hoping this will blow over soon.

After the picture made headline news, Santana has fallen back into a slight depression. She was making so much progress, and this whole incident has been impeding her progress. Just when she thought she was moving on with her life, and putting her relationship and Rachel behind her, she is bombarded with questions regarding Rachel.

Dani wanted to prevent Santana from going back to how she was the first week, after she caught Rachel and Quinn. She would hate to see Santana go back to that emotional state, she barely got out of it last time, and this time it was worse, since all it was all over social media. Dani hired a publicist in hopes to getting the media to focus on something other than Santana's relationship with Rachel. But for now she had to look on the bright side of things, and stop Santana from getting into her funk.

"Santana, I really don't know what the problem is, I mean your album sales have gone up and so has your popularity, this had boosted your fame and you have become a trending topic on twitter, and plus its not like they know about Quinn, you got to look on the bright side"

Dani was really trying to get her in a better mood, but while she was trying her best, it wasn't exactly enough, nor a good approach.

"I don't care about money you don't understand how I feel. Everywhere I go, Dani, I am reminded of how I got played. For the past few days, everyone has been asking about and trying to figure out what happened in my last relationship. The one thing I don't want to talk about is now on everyone's mind. I am constantly reminded of how Rachel played with my heart, made me fall in love with her, just she can throw me away like I meant nothing, like those years we spent together, were nothing. So she can ride into the sunset with someone else, not just anybody but the person I thought was my best friend."

Santana was beginning to sob, and while Dani has tried to get the Latina to open up about her relationship, she didn't want to see Santana looking so broken and feeble. So even though Dani had nothing to add, she quickly interrupted the Latina, in hopes of stopping her from having a meltdown.

"But no one knows about–"

"But nothing, Dani you don't get it do you. It was my fucking best friend, you know I have blamed Rachel so much, but Quinn is just as bad. You know she knew about how I felt about Rachel, every time I had a fight with Rachel, I would call her and let her know, so what she can go and fuck her behind my back on my bed. Do you know how much that hurts, all this time I been putting all the blame on Rachel but fuck, they both probably laughing it off right now, I need some time, I promise to talk to you when I am ready but for now I just need to be alone please."

Dani nodded and left Santana's room, she knew she couldn't push the Latina into talking to her, or it would make things worse, but for now she was going to call a publicist, to help get this out the media quick. After making a few calls, she checked on Santana and saw that she was sleeping, deciding to do the same she went back to her room.

A few hours later, Dani was woken up by some music coming from Santana's room. Much like the first time she silently walked into the room, hearing Santana singing, although this time she didn't record she just listened.

 _She was a friend of mine, she left with my woman  
She lied, cheated, took all I had  
She was a friend of mine, she used what she knew  
She lied, cheated and left me confused_

 _I feel so lost, don't know why this has happened to me  
My closest friend, I never would have thought it could be  
You were someone, someone I really thought I could trust  
But my woman you laid and I'm betrayed_

Dani was listening intently, but then Santana stopped.

"I been doing a lot of thinking, and I came upon a conclusion, If Rachel and I weren't meant to be then I will get over my break-up with her and move on with time, and obviously my friendship with Quinn I don't think can be savaged. The thing is while hopefully with time I can get over the break-up, the after math is I am going to doubt everyone I date in the future, I am going to have trust issues, because no matter whether it is family, a girlfriend, a best friend I always end up hurt. That is the hardest part to deal with I am forever going to be damaged, a burden" Santana was saying this all in a neutral tone, she stoic.

"you are not damaged"

Dani didn't move, acting as if Santana was a deer, she stayed by the door making no sudden movement. Not wanting to disrupt Santana or stop her from opening up.

"I want to believe you but I can't, I want to trust you but I can't, I have cried enough tears, I am sick and tired, of having my heart ache, for someone who didn't gave damn, and having been betrayed by my friend, I'm tired of feeling sorry for myself, I am confused I don't know what to feel anymore, I have been humiliated, betrayed and embarrassed... "

Dani stayed quiet and thought for a while, she was tired of seeing Santana in pain, her songs were masterpieces and great tunes, but she can't sing about heartbreak forever. And then it occurred to Dani, why should Santana keep feeling mad and sad, honestly if it was her, she would be angry, at being humiliated and betrayed. So that had to be the answer right, in order for Santana to completely move on she had to be angry. That had to be the next step.

Dani was lost in her thoughts, thinking about how to make the Latina feel a little latin anger, that was clearly in her genes. Santana had to into her Lima Heights Adjacent attitude, and Dani was going to help her achieve it.

Santana continued talking

"…that's the worst part, feeling like you are half a person because you lost your other half…"

"that's your problem"

Dani answered without thinking, and Saw anger in Santana eyes, and Dani quickly recovered with

"that whole idea of finding your other half, you should never consider yourself half a person, in the words of Beyoncé 'one plus one equals two' it's not half plus half. And that's what you need to work on. Instead of looking for your other half, become a whole. Santana you need to be strong and independent or whatever makes a good partner you know, you cant sit here and talk about how you only a half, you need to be a one"

At this point Dani was rambling but in a way it made sense to her, if Santana was always going to thinking that she needed to find her other half, she was always going to get hurt, and Dani couldn't have that.. Dani was the commitment type, it really wasn't her thing.

Santana was just looking at Dani with pure confusion.

"what the fuck are you saying, I am opening up to you for the first time, and you going on about god know what"

While Dani's master plan was to get Santana mad, her anger was not meant to be directed at Dani. But this was progress this was a better alternative to seeing a sobbing and beaten Santana, at least she had some other emotion in her system, and she was willing to be a martyr for the cause.

"This is good" Dani muttered, little did she know Santana heard

"Dani, Fuck You"

Dani was so happy Santana was out of her funk, she got so excited.

"Yes, wait no, I mean look this is good, you need to stop feeling sad, and get angry, Santana, you have a right to be angry you know, you were humiliated and embarrassed. You seriously can be okay with that. I mean you were a cheerleader and a mean one, what happened to that persona to that passion. You grieved and mourned your time, now the next step is anger and closure or whatever and then you can liberate yourself"

"you know you look a little crazy"

Santana thought about What Dani said and she was partially right, she had been repressing her anger. Maybe she did need to get a little angry at the situation, it was so fucked up what Rachel and Quinn did to her. Maybe it is time she finally closes this chapter in her life.

* * *

A/N: Let me know if you think the story is developing too slowly. I will try to my best to update weekly on either Saturday or Sunday. Again suggestions and criticism always welcome.

Thank You, ohnanagleek for the song suggestion.

i hope you like how the story is progressing.


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: A small time jump, a few weeks have passed. Also the story is taking a slight AU direction.

* * *

"Hey, I am off to work" Quinn said while fixing her work bag, she leaned in to kiss Rachel goodbye, but Rachel turned away effectively avoiding Quinn's kiss. frustrated Quinn asked

"what did i do now"

"you haven't done anything Quinn, i'm just not in the mood"

"you are never in the mood" Quinn said lowly to herself, and Rachel was so lost in her own thoughts to notice.

"I'll see you tonight, I have a lot of work to catch up on" That seems to spark interest in Rachel who promptly responded

"Again, Quinn you have been working late a lot lately."

"Well the work needs to be done, i'll be home late so don't wait up. Bye", Knowing Rachel would avoid her goodbye kiss, she sighed and left.

A few minutes after leaving, Quinn's cellphone rang.

"Hello...yeah I am on my way... I just left... See you in a few"

After the whole media, scandal between Rachel and Santana, Rachel had been more cautious in hiding her relationship with Quinn, she did not want people forming bad opinions about her. If anything the scandal helped boost her fame and advance her career, she was offered a few role on TV shows, and in Music video Cameos by various well known stars. The only downside she had gained the title of "broadway heartbreaker". Things in her career were looking up, while her relationship with Quinn has gotten more distant and worse.

* * *

Quinn knocked on the door, and was greeted by a passionate kiss, and tight embrace.

"I missed you" said a brunette with a warm smile.

"you saw me yesterday" Quinn emphasized her statement with a quick peck at the end.

"Yes, but you keep leaving me, why don't you ever spend the night anymore"

"Marley, you know I want to, but I'm with Rachel and right now every thing is so complicated, I never hid the fact that i was in another relationship. Plus I can't lie about a work trip, when everything i am currently working on is here in New York, and Rachel knows that. you knew that this was going to be our secret, and that i am with another"

Quinn had been seeing Marley for quite a while, before her trip to L.A. they met at a bar, and instantly hit it off. One thing led to another, and now she finds herself involved in another affair.

"I never felt like your lover, or the other woman until just now. Do you even love me ? Are you still in love with her?" Marley was growing tired of Quinn's excuses it was always the same answer 'it's complicated' or 'you don't understand'.

"Marley, you know it complicated", Quinn approached Marley, wrapped her hands around her waist, and tried to kiss to kiss marley on the cheek, only for her kiss to be rejected for the second time today.

"Stop telling me its complicated" Marley said leaving Quinn's embrace.

Quinn was started to get frustrated today was not her day.

"what do you want me to Say Marley"

"Do you love me?"

"Marley, We been together only a few short weeks, so I am not going to lie and say I love you, but i can't deny that i feel strongly for you, you know that"

Quinn does truly feel strongly for Marley they met and hit it off, and when she met Marley her relationship with Rachel had been at a low point. Well it still is, and Marley was a breath of fresh air, No Drama. It felt nice like a relationship should be, but it was a dangerous thought, starting this affair no matter how nice it felt, was just another mess.

Marley kept quiet after hearing Quinn's answer

Marley was slightly satisfied with the answer, Quinn had a point they have been together a mere 6 weeks, and although Marley, knew she had fallen for the blond. She couldn't force the Blond to love her back, especially since she was technically the other woman, and Quinn was in a relationship with another. But her worst fear was if Quinn was in love with her 'actual' girlfriend.

"Do you love her?" Marley finally spoke up in a low whisper.

This was a hard question for Quinn, to answer since, she has been trying to figure that out herself. If you would have asked her 3 or 4 months ago, without a thought she would have said yes. But as her relationship with Rachel has developed, it had become tedious they were no longer having fun together, it had become tiresome, and she dreaded when she had to go home. But now she was just confused, she had no idea how she felt, her emotions were a mess.

"Maybe, I don't know"

"How, can you not know" Marley was starting to get agitated with Quinn and her answers, which were never definite

"I don't know, I thought I did, but now I don't know, I can't tell you yes or no, because if i did I would be lying, look if you want to argue about this, I rather leave-"

Wanting Quinn to stay, Marley quickly cut her off

"No please stay, I'll stop asking questions, I am just curious, I like you a lot and i want this to work out" Marley led Quinn the the couch and straddled slowly kiss Quinn's neck and working her way down her collarbone.

Quinn stopped Marley and cupped her cheeks in her hands, and pecked her lips.

"I am not in mood"

Quinn removed Marley from her lap, and got up. Marley thought she was leaving and was already chastising herself for pushing Quinn away, but was surprised.

Quinn Instead of leaving laid down on the coach, and adjusted herself and Marley so that they were cuddling facing the TV.

"I don't know, a lot of things right now, but I want you in my life. I promise that as soon as I figure it out, You will know. I don't want to promise you anything I cannot guarantee. But right now what i do know is that i want to cuddle and enjoy our time together." Quinn whispered in her ear and kissed her cheek. Pulling in Marley closer and hugging her tighter. Marley leaned back into Quinn's embrace, trying to get there bodies as close to together.


	9. Chapter 9

"Where is Quinn?" Kurt asked.

Kurt worked by Rachel's and Quinn's apartment so it wasn't unusual for him to stop by after work and spend time with the couple, although as of lately it was mostly Rachel who was home.

"She is working late again, she is super busy with her new project"

Kurt was a bit suspicious of Quinn, lately, Quinn was mostly in writing, and couldn't she write from home. Kurt thought Rachel and Quinn had broken up, and these were just excuses as to why they weren't always together.

"Oh, is she still working for that crime TV show?"

"I think so, I'm not that sure"

Kurt sensed the conversation was reaching a dead end and decided to change the subject. Instead he and Rachel got talking about her new career opportunities. Recently the Diva was offered to be one of the main characters in TV show. It would be a depart from broadway but a golden opportunity, for a more stable career as an actress.

"So have you decided if you are going to sign off on the new Tv show?"

" I don't know, I mean what if it fails and I can't get other acting jobs, or if it is a success it would be a great commitment"

"You can't start thinking of it failing before it even starts, and when it does succeed, you can always leave the show, i mean the kill off characters all the time. I think you are over thinking this. And I mean your off-broadway show is about to end. So your schedule is quite free. And the job would not require you to travel so, you and Quinn wouldn't need to start planning a long distance relationship"

"I know it makes sense, but I have a lot on my mind"

"what is on your mind now, is it Quinn, by the way what are you still doing with her, I thought you were trying to get Santana back?"

Kurt loved Rachel and she was his bestfriend, but he was growing tired of her indecisiveness, and her going back and forth between wanting and not wanting Santana back.

"I want Santana back, but I also can't hurt Quinn, I have already hurt to many people, also are you honestly not aware that Santana has been frequently spotted with some mysterious red-headed chick, who is probably some Victoria secret Angel" Just imagining the Latina, with someone else made her feel sick, and jealousy and possessiveness took over her body.

"Well, being jealous in the comfort of your own home won't fix your problems or get Santana back"

"Kurt, she is moving on and I will not ruin that for her, I already did so much, the least i can do is let her move on right. Give her peace that's the right thing to do" Rachel, couldn't pursue Santana even if she wanted to her life is a mess, the media is on her back and basically stalking her every move.

"Rachel, even if you don't want to get Santana BAck, you need to break up with Quinn this relationship is toxic and you both know it, do you even love her, honestly?"

"Look, I don't want to hurt Quinn, we have been over this-"

"do you love her?" Kurt was getting frustrated with Rachel, someone had to talk some sense into her, and if that meant tough love so be it.

"I mean of course I love her, she is great, I just don't think I'm in love with her"

"Exactly why you need to break-up with her, and I agree trying to get Santana back, would be a mistake on your part, You need to be single for awhile, You have been hopping from relationship to relationship, and that hasn't worked out for you"

"I'll think about it"

Rachel remained silent she knew Kurt had a point, but she couldn't hurt Quinn. She did have some feelings for the blond, just not the strong feelings she had felt for Santana. Maybe if she stopped comparing her relationships, things for her and Quinn would get better. And with Santana possibly dating someone else, she couldn't ruin it. And even if she did want to pursue Santana, she wouldn't know where to start, the Latina changed her number she had no idea where she was living.

Rachel stayed up late, watching some TV, and secretly hoping for an update on Santana's love life. She didn't realize how late she stayed up, until Quinn arrived at the apartment.

"I thought i said, not to wait up"

"No, I just stayed up watching TV, i didn't realize how much time had gone by"

Quinn sat down on the couch and cuddled up next to Rachel, Rachel noticed Quinn's damp hair.

"did you just shower?"

Quinn was caught off guard by Rachel's observation, she had completely forgot she had taken a shower at Marley's apartment, and thinking quickly she said the first thing she thought of.

"Yeah, I went to the gym and took a shower i was feeling a little bit to tired, and wanted to wake my body up a bit"

"oh okay, do you want to go to bed I don't want to keep you up"

"I think I can stay up a little while"

Quinn got comfortable and wrapped her arms around Rachel, and for the first time in a while things seemed okay.


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: Sorry for any mistakes made in terms of writing, I have been very busy with college and work. I am trying my best to update weekly.

* * *

… _from heartbroken to heartbreaker it seems that the upcoming singer Santana Lopez, has decided to move on from her rumored relationship with Broadway actress Rachel Berry. The singer has been spotted with a number of girls throughout these past few weeks. only one girl however has apparently managed to captivate the Latina long enough not to be dismissed like the others. While Santana is constantly being pursued by the paparazzi and it seems to be almost impossible to hide from them. Santana was able to effectively hide the identity of her new female companion the only detail is that the woman has red hair… So the question on everyone's mind is who is this mystery woman?.."_

Gossip and celebrity blogs have been all over the new woman in Santana's life, and it been driving Rachel insane. She new she had no right to be jealous her ex-girlfriend but she couldn't help it. She was angry at herself for putting herself in this position. The only good thing is that with Quinn being so invested in her work life and not being home, has basically allowed Rachel to forget she was committed to the blond.

With their sexlife growing extinct, Rachel felt relieved. The short brunnette felt guilty whenever she had sex with blond, and the most intimate thing they have been doing regularly is cuddling and the odd kiss, but it never went beyond that, before Rachel put a stop to it. And Quinn had stopped pushing only acted like a couple when friends came over, and since Rachel was determined to keep their relationship out of the media and gossip, they were complete strangers to the outside world. Their relationship could be classified as roommates with rare benefits.

Rachel was happy but also appreciative of Quinn, being so understanding especially when it came to intimacy. Rachel felt bad that while Quinn was so patient and determined to work through their problems, and all she did was push her away. Rachel felt that Quinn's patience was growing thin, but she couldn't help but admire that the blond was still with her, despite all the conditions rachel had put in place. Maybe Quinn's commitment was a sign that things would eventually work out, and maybe this entire mess was worth it maybe even a little bit, she had already hit rock bottom.

* * *

Currently Quinn finds herself lying in Marley bed, while some curious fingers are drawing and writing on her back.

"What are you thinking about?" Quinn ask curious as to why her back had become a canvas, and fearing the newfound intimacy.

"Us" Marley quickly responded.

"Mhm., what about us?"

"You told me that once you figured everything out you would let me know, and you have been over a lot lately… I don't know I just want answers."

"Why, do we have to talk about this, can't we just have fun?"

Quinn turned around and sat up her back against the headboard, she was tired of Marley asking the same question with such frequency. Quinn knew she was being a hypocrite, it wasn't that long ago she was forcing Rachel to define their relationship, even though they weren't having sex , they were both aware that they were emotionally involved, and she wanted answers just like Marley does. But she truly doesn't know, at moments she wants to end things with Marley which is the right thing to do, and work on her relationship with Rachel, the next she thinks about breaking it off with Rachel, and sometimes she just wants to end both relationships.

"Quinn, you keep saying that and i am tired of it. I am not a sex toy, you can just use me because your girlfriend doesn't put out"

Quinn knew Marley had a right to be made but she really didn't want to deal with this, but she was going to have to talk about to someone.

"Look, Marley you are not my plaything or whatever you think you are, but I don't want to make the same mistake twice"

Quinn was talking in a monotone and defeated tone, she really didn't want to have this conversation with Marley, but she really couldn't talk to anyone else. Marley regarded Quinn with the utmost attention, for once Quinn was speaking her mind and she didn't want to ruin this opportunity. Sure they talked and held light conversations, but never did Quinn discuss her feelings.

"My relationship with my Rachel started as an affair, and I think no I know we both regret it, we hurt one of our best friends in the process, and it was all fun and things were great when we were having what I guess you would call an affair. But as soon as things got serious, our relationship hit rock bottom, and to be honest I the only reason I can come up with, to explain why we are still together is because we wanted our affair to mean something,and that ruining friendships was worth the risk, and right now all we feel is regret."

Marley didn't respond

Quinn continued "Look, I know I love Rachel, but I don't think I am in love with her. I don't know why I pursued her but seeing her happy in her past relationship made me crave what she had, and I associated that Happiness with her, instead of her relationship, and now I am Paying the price, Sometimes when she looks at me and all her eyes are conveying is regret. I don't know why I am telling you this, I know we are in the same position, and It going to seem hypocritical of me to ask this of you but give me the time I didn't give Rachel. I know I am asking a lot of you, and i know it is unfair, but when I see you I want to feel good, happy, I don't want to feel guilt or regret. Look I like you I can't deny that but I don't want you or me to regret this, and I know you are getting impatient with me. But I really need time, I want to be Happy with you, but under these circumstances, I don't know. I ruined Rachel's happiness once, and I can't do that again. She is pulling away from me, our relationship is bound to end, she clearly still in love with her ex, and I am moving on with the beautiful girl Sitting in front of me."

* * *

Santana while she and Dani have grown closer, it still surprised her how comfortable they had gotten with each other. And the once cautious and shy Dani, had lost all sense of boundaries and began invading her personal space. Normally she would have been pissed if anyone had attempted to do the same, but she had to admit that Dani was in fact helping her move on and be a happier person.

"So you're not going to tell me about your date, I am slightly offended that I had to ask If I am being honest. Since I am your best friend she should be rushing to tell me these things, i shouldn't have to ask. Do you have another best friend i should know about, and if you do I need her Info, I need to make sure I am better than her in every single way. Well I know I am way hotter than her, I mean c'mon that you can't deny, but enough about my beauty, and goddess like body. How was the date? I mean do you know how hard i had to work to find you these blind dates-"

"You wouldn't have to work that hard, since I never asked you to set me up."

"Why are you so ungrateful, not only did I Find you a date, but i also put on multiple wigs and do you know how many times i went shopping for disguises these past few weeks, to make you look like the ultimate player. I am still waiting for my fruit basket and cookies"

Dani said playfully enjoying the slight banter between friends. In order to stop the media from digging into Santana's past, they devised a plan which painted Santana as quite the player, little did people know, it was just Dani enjoying a shopping spree.

"You know you are crazy right"

"I never said I was sane, so stop stalling and tell me how it went"

"Fine I'll tell you" Santana actually did want to tell Dani how the date, went it was the first time enjoyed the company of another woman that wasn't Dani. "But first confess to me, why you only set-up me up with redheads? Is that like a secret fetish of yours?" Santana was seriously curious as to why Dani, had only set her up with red-heads. The three women Dani had introduced to Santana, shared that trait in common.

"Well, I figured you know you had bad luck with blonds and brunettes maybe you wanted a switch up."

"Isn't there a flaw in your great plan, what if things end badly with Madison?"

"well, first stop being negative, and um, hello People dye there i'll figure something out. I thought I said stop stalling"

"her name is-"

'I know her name I set you guys up remember, and I am still waiting for my fruit basket, I like chocolate covered fruit just dropping that in their, oh and my favorite cookies are oatmeal raisin"

"First, if you let me talk you might hear about how my date went, two eww are you fifty who enjoys oatmeal raisin...moving on, my date with Madison went well, we went to times square, which was fun. Since that area is always packed we were able to blend in with all the tourist. We went bowling-"

"and you call me old" Santana glared at Dani for interrupting her story "sorry"

"anyway we bowled for a while and then we walked around times square for a while, trying to carry out a light conversation, but with some many people around and after being shoved a few times, She pulled me into this pizza shop and we ate, although i must admit we talked for hours and it felt like minutes. We talked about our love for movies our favorite parts in the city. When we got out it was pretty late, and we made our way to her apartment. Then we kissed and we said our goodbyes, we have a date next week. Honestly thank you, Madison is really good for me, I don't know if I am going to last with her, but It feels good to be with her. I mean its to soon to say, this is only Our third date and i want to take things slow .She is nice and most of all she treats me like normal person not like a celebrity. I really like her, even though your reason for setting us up was her hair color, you actually did a decent job, despite your insanity"

"hello, how many times have i told you I am a genius, you just don't want to believe me. And you call me a grandma this you third date and nothing but kissing. I have to say I am a bit disappointed, are you worried you are out of practice, if that is the case I can recommend some videos that might help you out. I would help you out but I can't have you falling for me, I am not a one woman woman, ya know"

"No, you perv, I don't want to rush anything" that is a first never would Santana have thought she had found someone more perverted than her, but effectively Santana has more boundaries than Dani. She still hasn't determined if that is a good thing or not.

* * *

A/N: Critiques and Comments are always welcome.


	11. Chapter 11

a/n: sorry I took so long to update and for any mistakes.

* * *

 _Today I don't feel like doing anything_

 _I just wanna lay in my bed_

 _Don't feel like picking up my phone_

 _So leave a message at the tone_

 _'Cause today I swear I'm not doing anything_

 _Nothing at all!_

 _Ooh, hoo, ooh, hoo, ooh, ooh-ooh_

 _Nothing at all_

 _Ooh, hoo, ooh, hoo, ooh, ooh-ooh_

 _Tomorrow I'll wake up, do some P90X_

 _Meet a really nice girl, have some really nice sex_

 _And she's gonna scream out: 'This is Great'_

"ok listen up Hugh Hefner, we got a busy day today, so start getting ready we are meeting the choreographer for your tour"

It was finally time, it has been a few months since the album dropped, and Santana has enough fans to go on tour, it came as a surprise when some of the venues were sold out and extra dates were needed to be added. Things were going good for the Latina, and even though her relationship with Madison was short lived, it gave her the much needed confidence to embrace the single life, and actually start enjoying herself. Live was good, not even the this tour business stressed her out too badly.

"ok eww, do not make that comparison, no me gusta, and why did you interrupt my creative process, this song could totally be a hit"

"ok yeah right, and start getting ready I am too young to start acting like your mother. We have about an hour before we need to get to the studio"

"why are you so stressed about getting to the meeting on time, usually you don't care about this stuff. So that means one of two things, you like the choreographer or she scary"

"none of those are true just be ready in 15 minutes"

"okay, mom"

Dani just sighed and left leaving Santana in her room. Santana set her guitar down, making her way to the closet to pick something to wear.

After Santana finished getting ready, she walked into the living room where Dani was waiting for her. Together they left the apartment and got into the town car.

"Just a few things before we get there, the choreographer has one of the best, but she is known to be a little on the eccentric side. So behave"

"Ok mom"

While Santana and Dani were making their to the studio. Quinn was at the jewelry store, picking up a custom order, he attempt at discrete failed miserably, unknown to her she was being photographed by the paparazzi.

A sense of familiarity hit Santana as she arrived at the studio, the whole style and essence of the studio. The bright colors, the animal pictures that surrounded the wall, it all seemed familiar. It looked more like a kid's room than a professional studio. Dani went to one of offices around in the place, leaving Santana to sit in the waiting area alone. A few minutes later Dani came back.

"She had an emergency with cait, I think they said but she should be here shortly"

Santana just shrugged, mindlessly agreeing to whatever Dani had said, she was not lying when she said that today she was not in the mood to do anything but just sit and chill.

….Breaking news, Director Quinn Fabray, whose movie recently won a Sundance award, was seen this afternoon picking out a ring. But who has this blond beauty been seeing, maybe we will found out later today.

"Sorry, I am late my cat was being a bit problematic this morning" said the blond rushing into the waiting room that held Dani and Santana,

That voice instantly captured Santana's attention. she would recognize it anywhere.

"Brittany" Santana whispered to herself as no one actually heard her.

She had not spoken to Brittany about 5 months after her whole problem with Rachel. she just stopped talking to people from the glee club. She did not want people blaming her for what had happened.

She remembers very well how when her whole relationship with Rachel started, everyone automatically assumed she would be the one to break Rachel's heart. Santana was the lion and Rachel the willing sheep. Puck even called her warning her and questioning her intentions with Rachel. Everyone had this prejudice and their minds made up that she would be the one to screw her relationship up, but they were all wrong. Although sometimes she wishes that she would have been the heartbreaker rather than the heartbroken.

"Oh my god, San" As soon as Brittany realized that it was Santana, she had grabbed the girl giving her a soul crushing hug.

Brittany had no idea that her client was Santana, Dani didn't mention it and Brittany didn't ask.

"can't breathe.. Britt. release me"

Dani who had been standing on the side finally decided to speak up

"So I take it you guys know each other"

"yeah this is Brittany my best friend from high school"

Dani gave Brittany and Santana some space to catch up, returning to her seat on the couch.

Dani doesn't know why but that sudden revelation bothered her. She knew of Brittany Santana's first love and best friend, but Santana has always spoken fondly of the blond, despite how their relationship turned.

Dani knows one of the reasons Santana stopped talking to the gleeks was that she didn't want people to take pity on her. So it was nice seeing her with brittany, and seeing her interact with someone other than her, but she felt odd about the two girls together and that to her was a mystery.

Quinn finally arrived home, with extra weight added in her pocket, she had planned out the whole day and today was going to go great, She would shower, get dressed and head out to her planned dinner. But her plans quickly changed, when she noticed that news had gotten around of her getting the ring on the media.

Luckily she was currently alone in the apartment to have time to think about what to do. Quinn was not the only one who had become aware of the current events, Kurt who lived for gossip quickly called Rachel for the details.

"What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Hello to you too Kurt, and what are you talking about?"

"Quinn was photographed buying a ring, explain yourself."

"what are you talking about? what ring?"

"so you and Quinn haven't talked about like i don't know marriage"

"Kurt, out relationship\ is finally normal, I don't that is something we are considering right now''

"speak for yourself, look at the link I just texted you, Bye and call me"

After Kurt hanged up Rachel opened the link, and pictures of Quinn at a jewelry store appeared.

Rachel rushed home and thanked the heavens when she found Quinn there.

"We need to talk" was the first thing that came out both Rachel's and Quinn's mouth.

* * *

a/n: let me know what you guys think, and again sorry for the late updates. I don't have a lot of free time between my job and school.


	12. Chapter 12

"..."...So I guess I should start" Quinn was nervous, how was she supposed to explain her trip to the jewelry store, that clearly shows her holding a ring. A ring that Rachel was never supposed to find out about. A ring that was not even for her, better yet how the hell was she going to explain it to Marley.

"that would be an ideal, I mean a picture says a thousand words, but I don't know none of those words right now" Rachel. was on edge she really hopes Quinn isn't about to propose marriage, their relationship just recently got stable. a commitment like would be an obstacle that neither Rachel or Quinn are equipped to handle.

"um.. it's not what it looks like" Her plan was simple stick to the truth as much as possible and hope for the best, it wasn't like their relationship was out in the open, but enough people knew, and this was not a scandal she wanted out. She spoke her next words carefully "I know that our relationship isn't really at its best, but it is not at its worse" She spoke these words with honesty and certainty, this whole speech was making Rachel uneasy.

"I thought that this ring could change things, it is not an engagement ring if that is what you are thinking" The sigh of relief that escaped Rachel was not unnoticed by Quinn. Was marriage not an option for them- that shouldn't matter she wants Marley right. Right. "It's a promise ring, I wanted to be symbolic of the struggles of our relationship, you know to promise we would try to work things out like how we have been"

The was an uncomfortable silence shared between the two. Rachel was relieved that Quinn was not proposing, although she always planned on getting married, she just realized that Quinn was not the first person that came to mind. When Kurt called her about the whole ordeal about Quinn and the ring, she couldn't help but feel slightly depressed. For some reason the first thing she associated with Marriage was Santana not Quinn. Which made her feel worse, because not only is she visualizing a future with someone other than her girlfriend, but with someone she had and took for granted. She had no right to miss Santana or think about her in that way.

While Quinn's gesture maybe a lot of commitment for Rachel, she could not disregard the effort Quinn was placing into the relationship and how much she cared, making Rachel only feel worse. The silence continued to linger in the room. Both girls occupied by their thoughts that the only tension and awkwardness lived in their subconscious.

Quinn was occupied by the thoughts of how she was going to tell Marley. While Rachel was trying to wrap her head around the commitment she was about to enter. Rachel was the first to break the silence. "...so what do we do now?" Quinn could deny the rumors and speculations of the Media, but that would be denying her relationship with Rachel, or they can just open up about their relationship.

"I was thinking that we could finally go public with our relationship.. Only if you want to?"

Quinn was secretly hoping that Rachel would keep this to herself, she had always been the hesitant one, and maybe if Quinn was lucky, Rachel would continue her hesitancy.

"I think you are right, we have hidden our relationship long enough" Both girls were convincing themselves that this was the right choice. Although Quinn really hoped Rachel would have decided to keep this to themselves. Quinn saw this as a step back, but Rachel saw it as a step forward, they were clearly moving in opposite directions, sharing probably only one thing, guilt.

* * *

"Why did you just disappear" Brittany asked full of sincerity. a sense of familiarity hit Santana. She had missed her friendship, while their relationship didn't work out, their friendship remained until it took an unexpected hiatus.

"I don't know, I guess I just needed time away from everything and everyone" While Santana did not mean any wrong, with that statement. Brittany felt hurt that Santana thought she had to get away from everyone including her, they had been friends for so long. and she had no idea how the Latina was doing other than the trashy magazines and social media.

"oh" was all Brittany managed to say. Catching onto what she could have implied, Santana was quick to clarify her previous statement.

"Britt, I didn't mean- it's just you work with Rachel and your were friends with all of us… and then the break up" Brittany's demeanor changed from hurt to sympathetic and understanding.

"I think I understand, I just always wondered why you and Rachel broke up, you guys seemed so happy, it's not the same now with Quinn-" Brittany cut herself off, thinking she had said too much, if she only knew.

This was a topic Santana wished to avoid talking about, Even though she has somewhat been able to move on from Rachel, the wound was still recent.

sighing "I know about Quinn"

"How?" The blond was confused as to how Santana would know if the couple were very private about their relationship.

Santana really did not feel like having this conversation. Luckily for her Dani decided to interrupt, she had an unreadable expression on her face them claiming that they were behind schedule, Santana found her behavior weird mostly since this was the only thing they had planned for today. But she decided not to question.

Dani grew impatient, like a kid in a waiting room. She wanted to know what was going on with them, but more importantly she felt the need to know what they were talking about. She became a bit more uneasy when she found the the former best friends in such a close proximity.

She was unable to say anything, when she got a call on her phone, Informing her about Rachel and Quinn Confirming their relationship, and Quinn buying a ring. While she knew Santana was on the road to recovery, this would be a major step back.

She was barely to able to help Santana through the break.

With a tone of urgency she called "Brittany", Again Santana was confused by Dani's actions. Dani decided that she Brittany knew more about Santana longer and better than she did, so she could help.

Brittany was surprised by the news of what appeared the engagement between Quinn and Rachel. Together, Dani and Brittany decided that it was best to just tell Santana, than risking her finding out some over way.

* * *

As soon as they released a photo confirming their. Quinn's phone was buzzing with messages, from friends and family all saying the same generic congrats. But it was Marley that filled her phone. How the hell was she suppose to explain this to her. Just a month ago she told her that she was breaking up with Rachel. Maybe this is the universe's sign that she should stay in the relationship and forget about Marley. She didn't dwell on it too much returning her attention to Rachel, who was currently talking on the phone with Kurt.

Quinn kept replaying the relief Rachel seemed to express when she realized that Quinn did not propose.

Rachel was talking to Kurt, explaining that is was a promise ring and nothing more. But when he asked her if she was okay with everything, he was not convinced by her "yes". He knew that she was making a mistake, he just hoped it Rachel realizes her mistakes before it was too late.

* * *

a/n: I hope everyone enjoying the story. I'm open to any suggestions. Sorry about any mistakes made.


	13. Chapter 13

Santana had taken the news, better than expected. That was the general consensus determined by Dani and behavior was completely different with how she coped with her break up with Rachel. Instead of isolating herself from the world, she seemed to embrace it, going out partying, meeting new people, the only problem is they really could not monitor Santana's new behavior, since neither Dani nor Brittany were allowed to accompany her in her outings. The fact that Santana was partying alone worried, both Dani and Brittany, but not that much since Dani noticed that the latina came home sober. The conclusion was that Santana just needed some space, and since no signs indicated she was out of control, they let her have her privacy.

Brittany's and Dani's assumption that Santana needed space was correct. Santana just wanted time to comes to term with reality. While she knew that her relationship with Rachel was over, it still hurts more than anything because she planned on marrying Rachel. She was so certain that her future was with Rachel. She could not conceive a future without her, she even dropped out of college, so that Rachel could have more time to focus on her studies and auditions, she gave her all and got nothing in return but heartache. But what was worse was the the look of pity Dani and Brittany had given her, looking at her with so much pity. That made her feel worse.

What happened to the times she would be feared and respected, now everyone is constantly looking at her like a wounded puppy, and she hated it.

The looks of pity made her feel weak and vulnerable a feeling she was quite tired off, this was the final straw and she now more than ever determined to put everything behind her, she did not want to think not even talk about it. Rachel clearly moved on and it was time for her to do the same. She had mourned this relationship long enough.

While Brittany and Dani might have assumed that Santana was partying for the past weeks. This was not true. Santana did drink and partake in some drunken hook ups, she decided that this was not how she was going to handle this issue, she wasn't going to going to lose herself in drugs, alcohol, and meaningless sex, what good would any of that do. If rachel was still going to be with Quinn, and she was just suffering and in misery.

Instead for the past week and a half, Santana had been looking at the ring she had bought Rachel, with the intent of proposing, a ring that once held bitter memories was now a symbol of hope. If she found love twice before, then maybe the third time was really the charm. She looked at the ring, and she thought of all the times she had fun with Rachel, and came to the conclusion that at least in her eyes that relationship with Rachel was worth it, and that is all she needed to move on. Whether or not Rachel valued their relationship was not her problem. Would it make her feel better if Rachel confirmed what she herself felt about the relationship, yes it would. But she had to move past what Rachel thought, because for the majority of her relationship she felt loved and it felt wonderful.

Santana had made a daily routine for herself, she would go out and explore parts of the city, she had not discovered. She did all the things that she could not do when she was with Rachel, whether it was because Rachel was not interested, or simply because she couldn't afford to do so before. She even discovered a small bakery shop, that oddly enough served the best vegan ice cream. Vegan was something she picked up while living and dating Rachel, and now that she wasn't dating Rachel she was more flexible with her diet, But vegan had become a hard habit to break for the Latina.

Walking down the streets of New York, which is actually more like jogging with all the people rushing to get to their destination. She almost collided with a busy businessman on the go, once she finally reached her destination, she opened the door and found the Bakery she how she liked it. Empty, there were only a few people sitting down creating a very intimate setting. She got on line to order, but before she could say anything

"Vegan Chocolate Sundae?" The woman on the other side of the counter said with slight uncertainty.

Santana looked up to find a young woman in her early twenties, she had long short dirty blond hair with blueish grey eyes, that were quite stunning. She looked at the sight before her, glancing over not only those captivating eyes, but her body as well. She was wearing a tight black shirt, with the bakery logo, the t-shirt allowed for Santana to admire her bust. Her thoughts were interrupted-

"I hope you are looking for a name tag" the girl now holding the ice cream in her hands said with a tone that resembled amusement

Embarrassed and Speechless, Santana paid for her ice cream and sat down in a corner table in the back allowing for the most privacy.

When Marley finally calmed down enough to let Quinn talk, they decided to meet up and talk about recent events. Quinn decided that it was best if they met in public, just in case things got out of hand, at least the location would demand they keep their feelings and emotions in control.

They met up in the same bakery, that just so happens to have a still silenced Santana, eating ice cream.

The latina was quick to notice Quinn, but her presence was ignored by Quinn, and the brunnette that accompanied her. She was quick to notice that the brunette with Quinn was not Rachel, which gave her some relief, she really did not want to see Rachel, she had been purposefully avoiding her for months. She kept quiet and continued to eat her ice cream dismissing Quinn's presence, she really did not care for at the moment. Plus if she thought too much about Quinn it would she make her angry and hurt, and the bakery was not the place for that.

Marley was not happy, this was made clear by her facial expression emphasized by her body language. She was sitting down across from Quinn, her legs and arms crossed. She only said one word to Quinn.

"Talk"

Quinn was intimidated by Marley, she has never seen the brunette this angry.

"The ring was never for her" Marley's attitude didn't change but ,she was getting curious

"I told you that I want to break it off with Rachel, I wasn't lying- the ring it was for you" This changed everything Marley's anger to seemed to disappear.

Quinn went on to explain what had happened, which ended in Marley apologizing for her behavior, and in a moment of happiness, she kissed Quinn, a kiss Quinn returned, a kiss witnessed by Santana,

Santana was shocked, to say the least. _Does Rachel know? Is Quinn cheating? Why would she do this to Rachel? Poor Rachel. Fuck that she cheated on you remember serves her right. Why would Quinn do this?_ Santana was getting angry, but her thoughts were again interrupted by the girl that served her the ice cream earlier. She was standing in front of Santana holding up a napkin, observing Quinn she had dirtied her hand with melted ice cream. The girl in front of had made her forgot about Quinn, effectively calming her down.

"You know for a womanizer you are not all the smooth"

Santana felt herself blush, and this time she made it her goal to say something to the girl in front of her.

"Well-"

Again to be cut off by the blond girl

Again Santana was caught blushing, after a short Introduction, she found that the girl's name is Ashley. They fell into a short and easy conversation, during Ashley's short break. They exchanged numbers and Santana was sure she would be calling Ashley real soon. they had hit if off, and it been a while since Santana had enjoyed another's girl company.

She even forgot about the whole Quinn thing.

Things were looking better than ever for Santana.


	14. Chapter 14

Santana had returned to the city for a much needed weekend of relaxation and comfort, she had been touring for the past two months and as fun as it has been, she wanted to spend in the night in something other than generic hotel room or tour bus. It wasn't that the beds were uncomfortable but hotel rooms couldn't deliver the warmth she felt in her own home (well shared home, considering she still lives with Dani).

Touring has been fun, having all her fans be there, she wasn't selling out arenas or large concert halls, and she liked the intimacy the small location offered. She had been keeping in touch with Ashley the girl she met at the bakery, they went on one date before she went on tour, and as good as that was, they decided it would be best if they postponed their intentions on dating until after her three month tour.

Exiting the Taxi, she went through a back entrance Dani's Uncle had shown her, in order to avoid the paps. As she made her way upstairs, she found Dani and Brittany. After greeting everyone, she went to her room to take a quick shower and change into more comfortable clothes, she just had a 6 hour flight that was delayed, spending her opinion too much time at the airport.

As she exited the room in some casual sweats, she was about to suggest, to order some food, but before she could verbalize her thoughts Dani beat her to it, as if she was reading her mind. "We ordered some Thai food, it should arrive soon"

They sat down, and watched some TV, talking casually about everything and nothing. There wasn't much to talk about since, Dani and Brittany were on tour with her, and just flew into the city the day before. She had asked Brittany to be her main Dancer on tour, and without hesitating Brittany agreed, and well Dani had nothing better to do, and after all she was her manager.

During the middle of watching some cartoons, Brittany put on. She received a text from Ashley asking about the flight, and they fell into easy conversation afterwards.

Noticing how occupied Santana seemed to be by her phone, Dani asked Brittany "Do you think they are fucking yet?", Brittany didn't reply, and Dani should have noticed the hint of mischief in her eyes,

"Hey San, Dani wants to know if you and sundae girl are fucking?"

Santana turned around and give her a "what the fuck" look while Brittany tried to contain her laughter.

"Not that it is any of your business, but no I am not sleeping with Ashley",although she was quite nervous since she had just committed herself to a second date with the girl, for tomorrow night.

Santana is confused to say the least, it's been two months since she saw Quinn with a girl that was not Rachel, and tomorrow would be her second date with Ashley. She was beyond confused, it was as if she was standing at a crossroad, in which multiple paths were presented in front of her.

She had no idea which path she should go down.

* * *

Getting ready for her date tonight, she hoped in the shower, thinking about where her life was headed. Many thoughts occupying her mind, Rachel, Quinn, Ashley.

As she fiddled with the water. She had thought about seeking out Rachel and telling her about Quinn cheating, but she quickly dismissed that line of thought. Every time she thought of Quinn and the other girl, she got angry because she was nothing but loyal, and she still choose Quinn. Despite everything she did for Rachel, she ended up being second choice to someone who couldn't even be faithful. Then she thought about asking Brittany, but she wasn't stupid given the timing people would think she is just trying to break up the engagement. Not matter what she thought the truth seemed not to be an option, not to mention she was lacking proof, so it would be her word against Quinn. Plus it been two months, who knows if Quinn is still seeing her, or maybe it was a one time thing. And if history and Instagram was any indicator (she didn't intentionally stalk her ex on social media, but it is hard to ignore the magazine covers). Rachel would choose Quinn.

As the water cascaded down her mind wandered about thoughts of Ashley. The more time she spent with Ashley the more she felt like herself. They haven't been going on many dates but she enjoyed talking to her a lot. There was no rush, the haven't even kissed and she was okay with taking these slow, giving her touring schedule. It was a different experience, from her one night stands, the rebounds girls. She actually felt safe exploring her feelings in a timely manner and starting off as friends.

However, time never seemed to on her side. In two weeks she would be performing at the MTV music awards, where she had been nominated for best upcoming artist, and a few weeks afterwards she was invited to Schue's wedding. So while she was pretty sure she can avoid Rachel in L.A, she was doubtful of her abilities to dodge the Brunette at Schue's wedding, plus it has been about 8 months since her break up, and she had Ashley now, or at least she hoped so.

Beside the dread that is having to face her emotions, she was quite excited when Brittany brought up Schue's wedding, she's excited about seeing the glee kids, given that she has ignored many of them. It's been too long, since she spoke to any of her high school buddies, and she had to admit she missed Kurt, it just felt odd after the break up to try and keep up with anyone, they all seemed at least in her mind to prefer Quinn and Rachel. But she was being completely honest, she was secretly holding a grudge under the assumption that everyone knew about the affair. But those ideas were shut down by Brittany, who assured her that no one knew, evident by the anger the blond showed. She felt guilty that Brittany had stopped talking to Quinn and Rachel, but she it was her decision and Santana didn't force her to choose sides.

As her thoughts began to quiet down, she exited the shower. Ashley invited her to Dinner, they were going to meet after her shift. It was nice to relax, and take a break from her busy schedule and enjoy the company of someone other than Dani and Brittany, Don't get her wrong she loved them but they can be overwhelming at times, especially how weird Dani has been acting around her and Brittany.

She walked out of her and hailed cab, heading over to the bakery.

"Hey you" Ashley greeted with a warm hug.

"Hey", she was a bit upset that the hug didn't last that long.

Ashley and Santana were the only ones in the bakery, since it was an hour after closing. All bakery was all cleaned up and ready for closing, except for a table located in the corner of the store. That had in place a single rose, in a mason jar that during the day holds a fairly large amount of iced coffee. The bakery dimly lit complimented well the pale yellow walls, covered by a few paintings and graphic art all varying in size, but all depicting coffee in various states and sizes.

There was a faint smell of cinnamon and coffee, that surrounded the confines of the store, and she kind of missed it.

"I hope you don't mind, that I decided to have the date here, You told me you ad an early flight and instead of wasting an two hours to go home and change, I rather spend that time with you" she looked adorable Santana thought seeing the usually confident and flirtatious girl ramble and for the time slightly nervous.

"It's perfect, but are you sure we are allowed here after hours, won't you get in trouble with your boss?" And it was true, she could tell Ashley put a lot of effort, since in the details in the booth, the white table cloth that was over the table, the rose, and the lighting. For the first time in long time she can see the effort and thought that was put in to make her happy, and she was. But she was concerned, she thought about trying to pull something like this off in the Diner she used to work at, and that would certainly not be allowed.

"I hope so, and I know the owner quite well, she is amazing if i do say so myself." Santana tuned out what she was saying, feeling a little jealous and started second guessing herself, maybe this really wasn't a date-

Sensing her Santana's discomfort Ashley stopped.

"I own the place" after that they fell into easy conversation. Until she heard a timer go off.

"I'll be back" she came back holding two plates, "it's vegan"

Santana just nodded. After Rachel, she stopped restricting herself to a vegan diet, and has been more consistently vegetarian.

Taking a bite out of the lasagna, she moaned tasting the plate.

"I take that as a confirmation you like it" Santana nodded, she didn't want to speak with her mouth full.

It was some of the best vegan lasagna she has had, plus after being on the road for so long, it's nice to have a home cooked meal. They carried out eating and laughing losing track of time. Santana really didn't want to leave it was getting late for the both of them she had an early flight, but she was enjoying herself too much.

"Stay a little while longer you still haven't dessert" Ashley said with pout, and Santana found herself wanting to stay a while longer. "I'll be right back".

Ashley went to the back taking the dirty plates on the table with her, she came back with a bowl, and two spoons. She set the ice cream in the middle of the table, handing a spoon to Santana.

"It's a new flavor, I been working on so I thought we can try it together"

"I never been one to deny free ice cream, so I'll be your guinea pig this once" winking at the girl sitting in front of her.

She took a bit of the desert in front her and it was great, it seems that Ashley's food is orgasmic, and her body was not denying it.

"I guess it's true the way to someone's heart is through food", Ashley said in a teasing her a bit. .

"If you keep cooking like this, I just might keep you around" and with that being said Santana focused on the strawberry bubble gum ice cream, barely allowing Ashley to have some.

Dreading that the night was coming to end, they stood up as they walked to the door.

"I hope you had a good time"

"I did, I hope we can do this again maybe" is she quick to reply but also a bit nervous this would be the first serious-ish relationship she would attempt in awhile.

"I wouldn't" have it any other way" giving Santana a warm smile. As they got closer to the door, the distance between shortened.

They hugged goodbye, but it seemed to leave both women unsatisfied, just as Santana was leaving, Ashley grabbed her hand pulling her in and stealing a kiss, which Santana was more than happy to return. After catching their breaths, their foreheads pressed together, "I'm sorry" Ashley said between breaths, "Don't be" Ashley replied with a soft and slow kiss, both girls smiling into the kiss.

* * *

a/n: I know it had been awhile since I updated, but I was busy studying for midterms.

A few things I want to address. First, thanks for supporting this story, and all the nice reviews. Second, unfortunately for some this is a Pezberry fic, it going to be a little while before that begins again though. And lastly, to guest that commented on how the story has this poor Santana theme, thank you because that is kind of feedback I need, because it informs me of how the story is developing, and I will consider comments like this as I continue to write. So if you notice other things like this let me know. Also do you guys want me to write from first person point of view or keep it as it is.?


	15. Chapter 15

The vibrations and sounds of Santana's phone against the coffee table, woke her up from her nap. Slowly gaining consciousness she began to take in her surroundings. She found herself currently residing above a sleeping Ashley, and trying to escape her current position. Santana head was laying on Ashley's chest, and she had no complaints. Ashley's arms were around her lower back, keeping Santana in place and pulling their body closer together. As soon as Santana tried to remove Ashley's hands, the sleeping girl started to shift and brought Santana in closer. She tried extracting herself, without waking the girl up but was failing miserably, she heard Ashley mumble the words she identified as "stop" and "sleep".

"Wake up", Santana said softly trying to get Ashley to wake up as smoothly as possible. Finally seeing the girl opening her eyes, and loosen her hold on Santana. As the girls adjusted themselves on the couch.

Checking her phone, Santana saw a number of missed calls and texts mostly from Dani. It was two in the morning and she had a flight in a couple of hours, she was heading out to continue her tour, it was her last month and a fast paced one. Her date with Ashley was better than expected. She was already imagining an angry Dani demanding where she was, and why she was being irresponsible.

"This not how I envisioned our first time sleeping together, and finding out about your morning breath, you lucky you cute" she said in a teasing tone. Santana smiled before nudging her with her shoulder side, to tired to respond.

Standing up knowing she was already behind schedule, she started getting ready to head out. She called an uber, and while she waited for the car to arrive she said her goodbyes for real this time.

"I had a good time, and i would kiss you goodbye but I want to save you from my breath",

Before she exited, Ashley kissed her goodbye, "Your breath still gross, but the kiss is worth it, When will I see you again?"

"I will be back in a few weeks"

"I'm going to miss you"

"Me too", and If Santana was being honest with herself she really was going to miss Ashley, and part of her was scared of her growing attraction for the girl, but nothing and no one was holding her back, and she gave herself the opportunity to explore her feelings.

"Where the hell have you been? We can't miss this flight"

Missing the flight will cause the tour t be elongated and require Dani to deal with Santana's already tight schedule. That was a headache Dani wanted to avoid at all cost.

"Sorry, I lost track of time" Santana was to tired to argue with Dani and instead headed to her room for some much needed sleep.

* * *

It was around 2:30 in the morning when Quinn walked into her shared apartment with Rachel, she had just come home after having spent sometime with Marley. After the whole coming out with Rachel and the promise ring, she has had less time to dedicate to her affair. But now that the paparazzi and news has died down, things have slightly returned to normal. Tired from a long day at work, and spending the rest of her day at Marley's apartment. Quinn failed to notice the flowers on the kitchen dining room table, and the untouched dinner Rachel prepared.

The romantic atmosphere as well as a sleeping Rachel on the couch was ignored by Quinn, as she headed straight to the bedroom to fall asleep.

Rachel woke up feeling more tired than usual and extremely stiff muscles and a neck pain, consequence of falling asleep on the couch waiting for Quinn to arrive. Looking around she saw her failed dinner. Since Quinn had shown some much commitment in their relationship, she wanted to surprise the blond with a nice dinner, like Santana used to do for her.

But the dinner proved to be a waste considering that Quinn, never made it home.

Walking to her room, she saw a sleeping Quinn. She sighed, this not relationship she had envisioned for herself. The sleeping blond, was her potential wife, and that is something she wasn't exactly looking forward to.

After being given the promise ring. She has been spending a lot of time considering her future with Quinn. The blond is always working late, something she never did at the start of their relationship. But she didn't think too much about that, considering Quinn had taken on more projects after they got together.

But she missed going out, the socialization, right now all she did was go to the theater and come back home to an empty house. The sad truth is that their relationship was stronger when it was an affair, but now that they are together everything is wrong. They don't go on dates, they don't spend time together. She was lucky if her and Quinn had one decent conversation a week.

Even their sex life has completely stopped, it wasn't the most active aspect of their relationship, but it was still a way of being intimate with Quinn. And for the first time ever, in her entire relationship, Quinn rejected her advances. Her future with Quinn was not something she was happy with nor something she desired. But it was the future she had chosen and she might not be in love with Quinn, but Quinn loved her and that must be enough.

Rachel entered the room and laid next to Quinn, expecting to feel a warm bed, but it felt cold and empty.

* * *

While Santana and Dani made their way to the airport. Dani and Santana started going talking about her date with Ashley. .

"You really like her don't you?" Dani asked, she really hoped that this girl made Santana happy.

"I do. It''s different and I don't know how to describe it. It's not just attraction. You know it's like when we slept together and we both knew it was just a good time"Dani slightly blushed when Santana said this "... with Ashley I feel comfortable and she is so easy going and easy to talk too. And yesterday when we kissed I felt something, and I wouldn't say it was love. But I felt free and it makes me forget everything and just focus on her"

Dani simply smiled at no one in particular, but it was nice to see Santana smiling and happy again. After seeing the girl heartbroken and so fragile it is nice to see a bit of the old Santana.

* * *

a/n: I will be revisiting Rachel's motives for cheating later on in the story. Sorry for any mistakes made.

Thank You Leelan22, that was my error but i fixed it now.


	16. Chapter 16

Ashley : Ugh, when are you coming back. I miss you. :(

Santana : I should be back next week, this coming week is my last week on tour. And I miss you, too. I wish you were here with me.

Ashley: Nah, the limelight and red carpets are your thing. Plus I can brag about my superstar girlfriend on TV. You know you still haven't told me what you are wearing. ;)

"Santana get off your phone, we are here"

After hearing Dani, warning Santana typed into her touch screen phone as quickly as human possible to send Ashley one last text, before walked the MTV red carpet.

Santana: I got to go, talk to you later.

She was nervous, this would be her first time at such an event. And while she was used to the fans at her concerts, this setting was much more terrifying.

There were journalist and TV host that might want to ask her questions, she would be surround not only by a bunch of fans but as well as a bunch of other celebrities, some of which are her idols. And though she might deny it, the fear of running into Rachel was very much present.

As she got of the car she made her way down the adoring fans. As she gracefully made her way down the red carpet, signing some autographs, taking pictures with fans.

She was stopped by some interviewers, asking her about today's special performance, and along with the generic who are you wearing.

"Are you nervous about tonight's performance?''

"A little, I mean the worst that could happen is people won't like it."

If she was honest with herself, she was extremely nervous about tonight's performance, the only people who have heard the song so far are her band and the back up vocalist.

Santana was the first to spot Rachel, and while Rachel always managed to take her breath away, she couldn't dismiss the subtle differences regarding Rachel's appearance. Santana noticed how much thinner Rachel was, how she had a lot more makeup than usual mostly trying to hide the bags under her eyes.

The short brunette looked tired, and if the forced smile she was sporting was any indicator she seemed unhappy. Rachel's appearance was quite the opposite, from her partner's, Quinn. Quinn appeared well rested and good, she has been talking to all the fans, often forgetting that Rachel was at her side.

Santana must have been staring for a few seconds too long, as soon as Rachel returned her gaze, Santana continued to walk and distracted herself talking with some fans.

Quinn continued to chat with the reporters, being her charismatic self. Wrapping her arm around Rachel's waist if a camera was in sight, only showing her affection if enough attention was being paid to them. Quinn failed to see the Santana, and kept on with the meaningless conversations.

Rachel wanted so badly to approach Santana but she knew leaving Quinn's side to pursue her ex, was not a good idea.

Santana was relieved to find out that she was not sitting close to to Rachel or Quinn.

* * *

Rachel was nervous, the presenters were about to announce best upcoming female artist, and she was rooting for Santana. It seemed that Rachel was more nervous than the calm Santana who was sitting beside Brittany.

"...and the winner is Santana Lopez"

Santana was shocked to hear her name she was not expecting the win at all. Santana stood up, receiving a hug from Brittany.

As Santana made her way to the stage, Rachel couldn't help but feel jealous of Brittany. She wanted to be the one sharing this moment. It should have been her , embracing Santana in hug, then going home to celebrate the win.

She had a mix of emotions she was angry at herself, regretful, jealous, sad, it was becoming overwhelming. She unconsciously reached over and squeezed Quinn's hand.

Quinn feeling her hand being squeezed, looked over at Rachel, who was staring at Santana as she gave her acceptance speech. Quinn couldn't help but feel jealous, at the look of love and admiration Rachel was giving Santana.

Rachel is "engaged" to her, she should be over Santana. She raised Rachel's hand and softly kissed her knuckles. The gesture went unnoticed by Rachel, who kept her eyes on Santana, needless to say Quinn was not happy.

"... and again one last thanks to my fans, family, and friends"

* * *

"... and on the stage getting ready to perform her new song is Santana Lopez"

Santana decided to keep the performance simple. She was sitting on a stool with her guitar in hand. Surrounded by the band and vocalists.

As soon as she started playing the crowd got quiet.

 ** _Hey, girl_**

 ** _Is she everything you wanted in me?_**

 ** _You know I gave you the world_**

 ** _You had me in the palm of your hand_**

 _Santana was excited it was her birthday and she had been planning this weekend's trip for months. She had saved all her tips, to go to Las Vegas, and the day was coming near all she and Rachel has to do was pack. But instead of having her birthday in Vegas like she wanted, she ended switching her plane tickets for some broadway musical expo Rachel wanted to see, that was occurring in the city that same weekend. She didn't even try to convince Rachel otherwise, she just changed the tickets. Even though she didn't enjoy as much as Rachel did, she just wanted to make the girl happy, and she didn't want to upset her._

Thinking back Santana has always let Rachel decide on everything, including some things that had nothing to do with Rachel. Had she become too dependent on the diva?

 ** _So, why your love went away?_**

 ** _I just can't seem to understand_**

 ** _Thought it was me and you, baby_**

 ** _Me and you until the end_**

 ** _But I guess I was wrong_**

Santana honestly thought, Rachel would be her forever. Mostly, because she fell in love with Rachel, harder than anybody she was with, and to think she would have sacrificed anything for her. Maybe Santana was just naive and what she thought were mutually feelings, weren't. She had given up so much for Rachel, even when Rachel didn't ask her.

 ** _Don't want to think about it_**

 ** _Don't want to talk about it_**

 ** _I'm just so sick about it_**

 ** _Can't believe it's ending this way_**

 ** _Just so confused about it_**

 ** _Feeling the blues about it_**

 ** _I just can't do without ya_**

 ** _Tell me is this fair?_**

It sucks that even after all this time, she still has to force herself not to think about what Rachel did. And sometimes she is mad at herself that her insecurities carry on to her relationship with Ashley, how is that fair? That Ashley has to deal with problems from her past relationship, and she hates herself for doubting Ashley, when Ashley hasn't done anything to violate her trust.

 ** _Is this the way it's really going down?_**

 ** _Is this how we say goodbye?_**

 ** _Should've known better when you came around_**

 ** _That you were gonna make me cry_**

 ** _It's breaking my heart to watch you run around_**

 ** _'Cause I know that you're living a lie_**

 ** _But that's ok, baby_**

 ** _'Cause in time you will find_**

Maybe Santana might wrong, maybe Rachel isn't living a complete lie. But after she saw the state of the girl prior to the show, she did not look like the bright and charming Rachel she came to love. Plus she probably doesn't know about Quinn's cheating.

 _ **What goes around, goes around, goes around**_

 _ **Comes all the way back around**_

 _ **What goes around, goes around, goes around**_

 _ **Comes all the way back around**_

 _ **What goes around, goes around, goes around**_

 _ **Comes all the way back around**_

 _ **What goes around, goes around, goes around**_

 _ **Comes all the way back around**_

Even though Santana and Rachel, aren't together she knows it sucks to be cheated on, but Rachel brought this on herself. She might have not been the best girlfriend in the whole wide world she can admit that but, no one deserves to be cheated on.

 ** _Now, girl_**

 ** _I remember everything that you claimed_**

 ** _You said that you were moving on now (on now)_**

 ** _Maybe I should do the same (maybe I should do the same)_**

 ** _The funny thing about that is_**

 ** _I was ready to give you my name_**

 ** _Thought it was me and you baby (baby)_**

 ** _And now, it's all just a shame_**

 ** _That I guess I was wrong_**

Rachel and Quinn have been paying attention to Santana's performance. Rachel was shocked to hear that the Latina was going to propose, maybe she was lying just for the purpose of creating the song. But Rachel can't deny that the thought of marrying Santana, excited her even if she knew that the possibility was now non existent. The song only adds to the amount of guilt that she feels.

Quinn was getting slightly nervous as the song continued, it was impossible that Santana knew about her affair, or maybe she was wishing that Rachel experciend the same form of deceit. Quinn kept her composure as best as she could.

Song really started to hit Rachel when Santana depicted her relationship's current state so accurately. Rachel started to question how truthful Santana's song is, was Quinn really cheating on her, and she wasn't the only one. Kurt who was watching the awards on TV, was more sure than ever that is first assumptions of Quinn always working late were lies.

 _ **You spend your nights alone**_

 _ **And she never comes home**_

 _ **And every time you call her,**_

 _ **All you get a busy tone**_

 _ **I heard you found out**_

 _ **That she's doing to you**_

 _ **What you did to me**_

Quinn was starting to lose her composure, she wanted the goddam song to end, its been like 6 minutes. Looking at Rachel, she could tell that girl was thinking about the lyrics and what Santana was saying. Quinn was going to have to change her ways these next few days and make sure Rachel doesn't buy into Santana's song too much.

 ** _And now you want somebody_**

 _ **To cure the lonely nights**_

 _ **You wish you had somebody**_

 _ **That could come and make it right**_

 _ **But girl, I ain't somebody**_

Rachel was shocked, as to how Santana knew so much. Was this how she made her feel while she was with Quinn. Was Quinn cheating on her, all Rachel wanted to do was break down and cry but she can't not while Quinn was next to her, and there were cameras around. she was so overwhelmed and didn't know what to do.

* * *

A/N: What Goes Around / Comes Around - Justin Timberlake.


	17. Chapter 17

Santana was meeting Ashley for the first time since she finished her tour. They were meeting up after Ashley closed her store, but being eager as she was Santana decided to surprise Ashley by showing up earlier, hoping to be her last customer.

When she got there she didn't expect the girl to be sitting on a couch talking to a young brunette who Santana must admit was attractive. From the window she saw the two girls what seems to be a good conversation.

Santana automatically assumed the worse, she felt hurt and she couldn't explain why. Sure her and Ashley haven't made their relationship official, and that worried her a bit. In fact that was Santana's goal.

Feeling someone's staring at her, Ashley looked up to see Santana on the other side of the window with a hurt expression. She quickly got up to get the Latina.

'Hey, come inside"

"No it's okay you seemed busy" Santana didn't mean to sound so bitter, but she couldn't help it.

Putting the pieces together, Ashley laughed a bit, causing Santana to get a bit mad.

"Would you like to come in and meet my little sister?, but first I demand a kiss"

Ashley puckered her lips and tapped them with her index finger.

Santana laughed at the girls antics and blushed blushed feeling embarrassed and also a upset at herself for jumping to conclusions.

After a quick kiss, Ashley dragged Santana into her shop.

"Come on I want you to meet Harmony"

The shop was relatively empty except for a few people typing on their laptops.

"Harmony this is my girlfriend-"

Asley was cut off by an excited Harmony, who immediately attacked Santana giving her a big hug.

"You are Santana Lopez" Harmony said in a whisper like voice, scared that if she spoke higher the singer would disappear.

Getting a closer look at Harmony, Santana felt even dumber , the girl was no older than 18 clearly a teenager.

But what was on Santana mind and she couldn't help but smile, was at the fact that Ashley introduced her as her "girlfriend".

After signing like 10 different objects and taking like 15 pictures Harmony left Santana and Ashley alone at the shop.

"I'm sorry about Harmony she can be a bit much, but she is a good kid"

"It's fine, don't worry, more importantly tell me more about how I'm your girlfriend"

"about that I'm sorry-"

"Hey don't be sorry, I was hoping to ask you to be my girlfriend tonight on our date"

"Oh really" Ashley straddled Santana laps.

"Yeah" Santana's breath hitched, who could blame her new girlfriend straddling her lap.

Ashley leaned in kissing Santana softly.

Separating her lips Santana trying to sound coherent "And as my girlfriend" Santana moaned as Ashley slowly made her way down her neck "can you be" God did Ashley's tongue feel good. "Mydatetoawedding" Santana mumbled in one breath.

Having enjoyed teasing Santana enough, Ashley came up to give the Latina a quick kiss on the lips.

"Yes, as your girlfriend it is my duty to be your plus one, for as long as you want me"

"Okay, I should warn you though, my ex is going to be there"

"Oh" Ashley quickly got off Santana's lap.

"Oh?"

"I mean should I be worried" Santana has never felt the other girl be so vulnerable.

"Nope, R-, my ex is my past. And you are my present. I like you and if I didn't I wouldn't have asked you to be my girlfriend"

"Ok"

"Can I get a kiss now?"

Ashley gave pouty Santana a playful nudge on her shoulder before giving the singer a quick peck.

"Come on" Ashley pulled Santana off the couch.

"Where are we going?"

"Well now that we are girlfriends, we have dates to catch up, all the ones we missed while you were tour, so we are making up for lost time"

Looking at the smiling Ashley Santana can't help but like the girl even more.

* * *

Brittany and Dani have gotten close, after Dani's initial hostility toward the blond, for thinking Brittany was a threat to her friendship with Santana. Dani found herself drawn to the blond's quirks, and were on the fast track to becoming good friends, especially since they both like some good gossip.

Currently both women were trying to decipher Santana's song. They were curious to find the truth about the song. More importantly they wanted to know if Quinn was cheating and if was how did Santana know?

"So do you think Quinn is cheating?"

Dani and Brittany were hanging out at the blond's studio that the tour was over Brittany went back to teaching.

"I don't know"

"Come on you have know her since grade school"

"Yeah, I didn't even know she was gay until she got with Rachel or that she broke up Santana and Rachel"

"Good point" Dani shrugged.

"Do you think Santana lied?"

"I doubt it she has been so honest in her songs, I don't think she would make it up." Dani was going to assume that Santana was telling the truth but was curious as to how the Latina found out, if she has done so much to make sure she doesn't cross paths with Quinn and Rachel.

"Ok, let's say Santana is telling the truth how did she find out?"

"I don't know Brittany, I honestly don't, it's getting late, we still meeting for dinner, right?"

"Yeah, after my last class"

* * *

"Fuck you, Quinn"

"Baby, calm down". Quinn tried approaching the brunette but that was a mistake. The angry women through the first thing she saw, and threw it at Quinn. Luckily for Quinn it was just a pillow.

"Calm down, you really are a bitch, aren't you" Marley was furious, Quinn had come over to her apartment to break it off.

"I just said we need a break, look things with Rachel aren't good right now"

"Oh. so instead of doing the right thing and breaking up with her, you are breaking it off with me, Quinn for the past couple of months you have been telling me you are going to leave her, and now all of sudden you what her back"

Marley was furious, and trying to contain her tears. Quinn promised her so much, including breaking up with Rachel to be with her and now she getting dumped.

"The right thing, just like you did the right thing when you were okay being my mistress. When you were more than willingly to sleep with a taken woman. Marley-" Quinn didn't have time to complete that sentence before Marley slapped her.

"GET THE FUCK OUT"

* * *

After Santana's performance things between Rachel and Quinn have gotten significantly better. Quinn has been home more. And they have gone out on a few dates. Quinn has surprised her with small gifts, vegan chocolates, and flowers.

"Seriously, Rachel you don't honestly the song had nothing to do it with it"

"Kurt, drop it"

"Fine"

Kurt has been snooping around trying to find out if Quinn was cheating, he believed Santana was telling the truth, but Rachel refuses to listen. She says Quinn's change in behavior is normal. But Kurt knew better, if Rachel accepted the fact that Quinn is cheating, then she also had to accept that reality that she could be possibly be happily engaged to Santana instead of Quinn.

Kurt and Rachel were sitting in the living room watching Funny Girl, when Quinn came in, with a bottle of wine and Rachel's favorite vegan italian food.

"Hey Kurt, I didn't know you were here. Good thing I brought extra."

"Oh lucky me" Kurt rolled his eyes, knowing that noether Rachel or Quinn could see him.

Rachel quickly got up to help Quinn bring in the food , and set the table

* * *

A/N: So finally, next chapter Rachel and Santana are reunited. If you have any suggestions PM and let me know. Sorry for any mistakes committed.


	18. Chapter 18

"Ok, I can do this, everything is going to be fine" Santana was mumbling under breath, she nervous and scared and her body language was a dead give away.

"Stop, you are making me nervous and you are suppose to comfort me" Ashley, despite what was about to happen was the calm one. Ashley had her arms around Santana's waist was rubbing small circles with her thumb trying to comfort the Latina.

Brittany had organized a surprise cook out in her backyard with the glee club, a day before Schue's wedding, so Santana could have a chance to catch up with everyone (except Rachel, Kurt, and Quinn were invited). But looking at the how nervous the girl was, maybe this wasn't such a good idea.

"Why are you so worried, it's not like you intentionally ignored all of them, and temporarily forgot about their existence- ouch what was that for" Brittany pinched Dani's arm to stop her from talking.

"Dani stop being rude, San everything is going to be alright, they will understand, and you didn't completely forget about them. I saw you mail everyone tickets to your concert in Cincinnati. "

Santana felt bad enough she tortured more than half the glee club in highschool and she definitely didn't need to be remind that she completely ignored them after the break up.

Brittany was the first to make herself known, "Look, who I found". Everyone's attention was on a nervous Santana.

"Hey" was all Santana managed to say, it was a bit awkward at first, but after a few hellos and hugs, things seem to go back to normal. Santana introduced Ashley, who got along with everyone quite well.

Mercedes being Mercedes wanted some gossip on celebrities. She learned that Tina and Mike got engaged last month. Sam is working with Finn at Burt's garage. Artie is a big time accountant, and even managed Puck's pool cleaning business which is doing well.

After talking to everyone, it was nice to see that no one seemed to hold a grudge against her disappearance. Everyone avoided talking about Rachel and Quinn, Santana had a feeling that Brittany threatened them at one point in time, since people seemed more cautious when talking to her when the Brittany was around.

Puck turned on the radio, and Tina, Mike, Ashley, Puck and Brittany started to dance.

Dani and Santana were sitting on the outside, drinking beer looking as people started to dance in Brittany's backyard.

Ashley and Brittany walked over trying to get Santana and Dani to join them.

"Come babe, let's Dance" Ashley sat on Santana's lap kissing her cheek.

"Let me finish this and i'll go"

"Promise"

"Of course babe" she gave Ashley a quick kiss, which didn't go unnoticed by Puck who screamed "Go Santana",

"Dani" As soon as Brittany said her name, she got up and followed to the Blond to the rest of the crowd.

Ashley, Dani and Brittany made there way back to the group. As promised Santana finished her beer, making her way over to Ashley.

Santana got behind Ashley, leaving no space between her front and Ashley's back, that when tempted to touch starting playing in the background.

 _I lose all control when I see you_

 _Standing there in front of me_

Santana and Ashley started to moving the music, Ashley grinding against Santana. Santana grabbed Ashley waist bringing her impossibly closer to the Latina, while trying to keep up with Ashley's movements.

As the music continued to play, both Santana and Ashley were dancing swaying and rotating their hips to the music. Santana who had her lips right behind Ashley's ear, and aided by the alcohol in her system. Started whispering the song lyrics.

 _Leaves me wanting, leaves me yearning_

 _Leaves me feeling for a taste_

Puck noticed the pair, and took a picture for his 'spank bank', "Damn that's hot", Dani who saw the mesmerized Puck took a picture of the boy drooling, showing it to Brittany for a quick laugh.

Meanwhile things between Ashley and Santana started to heat up, when Santana now had both her hands on Ashley and while kissing her neck. Both girls were carefree looking happy and enjoying themselves.

Everyone was busy having fun, and failed to notice that Rachel, Quinn and Kurt had arrived.

Kurt had heard about Brittany's get together through his stepbrother Finn. He knew that Brittany had intentionally not invited them, but he saw this as an opportunity to get some answers and hopefully knock some sense into Rachel, if he could get her to talk to Santana.

Kurt, however wasn't expecting what he found, Santana grinding and making out with some blond chick. He been keeping up with Santana's life and no magazine had mentioned that the Latina was taken. This was not part of his plan to reconcile Santana and Rachel.

Dani was the first to notice the unwelcomed trio.

"Brittany, I thought you said you didn't invite them" pointing at Kurt, Rachel and Quinn.

"I didn't"

"We have to get them out of here, before Santana notices them".

Even though Dani and Brittany were walking towards Rachel's direction. She was more interested in trying to see Santana, and when she saw the Latina with a blond, she was crushed, she felt like crying. Santana had found somebody and she looked happy, she wished it was her Santana was dancing with and not the blond.

 _Tempted to touch, tempted to touch_

 _Hey, little woman, man, I need you so much_

 _Tempted to touch, tempted to touch_

 _Hey, little woman, man, I'm inside your clutch_

Rachel was so focused looking at Santana, that she completely ignored, the argument Kurt, Brittany, and Dani were having.

Quinn noticing where Rachel was looking, was getting angry. She always had to compete with the Latina, but she had Rachel she won. In a rash moment without thinking Quinn grabbed Rachel, taking her to where everyone was dancing.

Quinn quickly positioned Rachel, in front of her and started to dance. Everything happened so quickly Rachel she followed Quinn's lead without giving much thought to what she was doing.

The fact that Rachel and Quinn had joined the rest of the group went unnoticed by Brittany, Dani and Kurt who were still arguing.

Kurt was the first to notice that the couple was missing.

 _Before the end of the night_

 _I wanna hold you so tight_

 _You know I want you so much_

 _And I'm so tempted to touch_

"Oh, my" was all Kurt can say when he spotted Quinn and Rachel.

"What" Dani responded, and all Kurt can do is point in the direction that Quinn and Rachel were.

Brittany and Dani turned around to see what the hell Kurt was talking about. They turned around to find that Rachel and Quinn were dancing next to Santana and Ashley.

But there were great differences, between the couples.

Santana and Ashley's dancing looked effortless, sensual and fun, the couple is clearly enjoying themselves not paying attention to anything but each other.

On the other hand Quinn and Rachel looked uncoordinated, messy, and uncomfortable. Rachel looked lost, while Quinn was trying really hard to catch Santana's attention.

Sensing the tension that was radiating off Quinn, everyone but Santana and Ashley stopped dancing.

It wasn't until the song ended, and Santana felt all eyes on her and Ashley, that she was becoming aware of her surroundings.

Brittany tried to control the situation, by ushering everyone to the table since the food was almost ready. As everyone made their way to the table. Rachel and Quinn greeted everyone.

Santana needed a moment to think by herself "I'm going to the bathroom, babe I'll be right back"

"Do you want me to go with you?"

"No its fine, go sit down with Britt and Dani I'll be there in a minute"

"Okay" Ashley gave Santana a quick peck before returning to the table.

Seeing the Latina, by herself Kurt saw this as his only opportunity to talk to Santana alone.

Before Santana was able to go to the bathroom she was stopped by a scared looking Kurt.

"Santana, I-"

"What do you want Kurt?''

"It's not my place, and this might not be the right time, But I have to ask anyway, because-"

"Just spit it out" Santana was growing impatient, she wanted to be alone and now Kurt is here annoying her.

"Is Quinn really cheating on Rachel?''

"Wouldn't you like to know" Santana didn't mean to sound bitchy but she was feeling overwhelmed with the current situation.

"Santana, come on, she deserves the truth, you owe her the truth-" as soon as Kurt said that he regretted it.

"I don't OWE her ANYTHING Kurt, didn't I DESERVE the fucking truth instead of finding her fucking Quinn in OUR FUCKING BED. I didn't get a fucking explanation as to why we broke up, all I got was a FUCKING text" Santana was angry, how dare Kurt say she owed Rachel anything.

"I-" before Kurt could say anything, he was cut off by Ashley this time.

"San, hey what's wrong?" Ashley immediately made her way to Santana.

Kurt feeling as an intruder in the interactions between Santana and the blond girl. He smiled seeing how much Ashley truly cared for Santana, and thinking about the times when it was Rachel comforting a distraught Santana.

"Nothing's wrong" Santana said unconvincingly.

Ashley got some towels and went them over cold water, and started rubbing it lightly on Santana's forehead, much to the Latina's

"Ash, babe what are you doing?''

"Um, well isn't obvious, since I can't help you emotionally, I am physically cooling you down" She gave Santana a quick kiss on her forehead, "If you ever want to talk about it, just know I'm here." Ashley hugged Santana letting the girl relax in her arms.

Santana couldn't help but smile at the girl, she was so lucky to have a girl like Ashley in her life. After a few minutes, a much more calm and relaxed Santana made her way to the table, never letting go of Ashley's hand.

It was a tense dinner, and not even Puck's bad jokes could save this dinner table.

Santana, Ashley, Brittany and Dani were seated at one end. While Quinn, Rachel and Kurt were seated at the other.

Throughout dinner Ashley kept stealing glances at Quinn, who misinterpreted the glances as flirting, and smiled at Ashley.

Mercedes decided to break the silence, by talking about Schue's wedding tomorrow, and asking about what everyone was going to wear. But even that conversation wasn't able to last long.

After about five minutes of silence, to Santana's surprise it was Ashley that broke the silence, by addressing Quinn.

"It's Quinn right?" Quinn smiled thinking, that Ashley was into her. She couldn't deny the other girl was hot.

"Yep, Quinn Fabray, hollywood writer and director." Santana couldn't help but roll her eyes at how pretentious Quinn was being , like seriously what did Rachel see in her.

"By any chance do you like espresso?"

Quinn as well as everybody around the table was confused by Ashley's Questions.

"Yeah, why?" Quinn was a bit perplexed by this question.

"I knew I recognized you from somewhere, I've seen you in my shop a couple of times. You order and espresso and a blueberry scone for yourself and an americano with a bacon and egg sandwich for your girlfriend, a tall brunette with blue eyes, I don't see her here was she not able to make it?"

A/N:

So what do you guys think? This wasn't my original plan for the chapter, but I hope you like anyway.

And I'm sorry if you guys don't like some or all of the characters, I promise to try and develop the characters more and giving them more depth.

So Review and let me know what you guys think.

The song mentioned is Tempted to Touch by Rupee


	19. Chapter 19

" _a tall brunette with blue eyes"._ This echoed through Rachel's mind. Rachel glanced over at Quinn, and seeing the girl she had become an impossible shade of white, was all the confirmation she needed to know that what was said was true. She looked around to see everyone looking at her, like she had just been dosed with a thousand slushies. Even Finn as slow and dopey as he was understood what had just happened. Ashley was the only one who looked confused.

She couldn't help but laugh, it was one of those times where tears weren't enough and useless. Her life had become a cruel joke, and tears just weren't an option. Her body took all control, she had no say in the matter, she just laughed.

Her laughter made the situation impossibly awkward. No one moved and no one said a word. It was Quinn who tried to break the silence, but her mouth kept openly and closing but no words came out.

Rachel was an actress and every good actress know to improvise, she had already dug herself a hole in the ground so deep that it was impossible for her to see the light.

She tried to get a hold of herself, and when she did she spoke as quickly as possible, because she knew the dam was close to breaking and she will refuse to break down and cry in front of everyone.

"Quinn, I think it is time we told the truth." Quinn had been so lost, that she didn't even acknowledge her name being said or that Rachel was talking.

"Quinn and I are in an open relationship" Rachel said this with such conviction and certainty that Kurt and Santana almost believed it to be true.

With that being said Rachel grabbed Quinn in an effort to leave.

"Dinner, was lovely I'll see you all tomorrow at the wedding"

That was the last thing Rachel said before leaving and dragging along a still shocked Quinn.

After they were out of sight, Quinn seemed to finally come to her senses.

"Rach" She could try and salvage this she had to, she can't loose Rachel not like this.

"Don't. Touch. Me. Don't. Speak. To. Me." Quinn had never seen Rachel in such a state. She was angry and broken.

"Rach, we have to talk"

"Rachel. Tomorrow 4pm sharp, my parent's' house" That was all Rachel said before going home.

As Rachel made her way home, she began thinking about when her romantic life began to crumble, a scary thought since the only person she can blame for what occurs is herself.

It is time she began taking responsibility for actions and begin taking control of her life.

Rachel began to backtrack, reminiscing on how everything started.

 _Rachel was at a small get together consisting of some of her friends, but more importantly some successful Broadway directors and casting agents. She was suppose to go with Santana, but some work schedule changes, made it impossible for Santana to attend. So Instead Santana arranged for Quinn to go with her, knowing Rachel didn't like being alone at these events._

 _Rachel went around the room making small talk, as did Quinn. Both women were networking and schmoozing with their intended audience._

 _The was no denying the blond was a charmer, and she undoubtedly made her presence known demanding attention, effortlessly._

 _As the night continued, Rachel saw Quinn talking to a well known off-Broadway director, who was actually in the process of producing a new play. Seeing Quinn was with the short balding man, she approached them. She didn't even get a chance to introduce herself, when the man began to speak._

" _Ah, you must be the talented girlfriend"_

 _At first Rachel was confused, she had no idea what was going on. She quickly looked at Quinn, who gave her the small diva a look that said play along._

" _Unless, Quinn has something she would like to confess, that would be me." Quinn wrapped her arm around Rachel's waist, which was quite awkward for the short girl._

 _The man gave a small laugh_

" _Quinn, here was telling me about your Broadway aspirations, and with much determination convinced me to to reconsider my casting. She mentioned you weren't able to attend the auditions, since you were in Yale, looking after her since she was ill"_

 _Rachel was surprised as to how Quinn managed to convince the man. The truth is she couldn't go to the auditions because she stayed home looking after a sick Santana, and no matter how important the auditions was, Santana was more important. So Quinn's story wasn't entirely a lie._

" _Yes, well I take my Girlfriend's health very seriously" and she wasn't lying she didn't regret missing the audition, Santana was her priority._

" _That's admirable, and since your girlfriend here is so convincing, I'll allow you to audition for the role of your choice. And since your girlfriend is so certain you will blow me away, I'm sure I won't regret it" the man proceeded to give Rachel his business card._

" _Thank you so much, I promise to give this audition my best effort"_

 _The man just nodded walking away. Rachel turned to Quinn hugging the girl and mumbling a hundred thank you's._

" _You're welcome, you deserve your chance"_

 _In the middle of such excitement she had forgotten about how she was referred to as Quinn's girlfriend. Until one of her school friends reminded her._

" _you are so lucky, your girlfriend is like amazing"_

 _The first thing that came to Rachel's mind was Santana, and she couldn't agree more. Causing the girl to smile. But her image was tainted when her friend started describing Quinn_

" _Wait what?"_

" _Your girlfriend Quinn"_

 _Remembering that Quinn had said she was Rachel's girlfriend, she tried to be convincing she didn't want people to catch onto the lie._

" _Oh, yeah Quinn, sh-she's amazing?"_

 _After stuttering in her words she went to look for Quinn._

" _Can you stop telling people, we are together"_

 _Rachel whispered yelled, not looking to happy_

" _Rach, I'm just trying to help right now. Or did you just forget how I got you that audition?"_

" _I guess, but can you stop, I think it best if I leave" Rachel back down a little, since Quinn had in fact helped her._

" _Wait, I'll stop, but don't leave so soon"_

 _Rachel stayed a little while longer, before she decided that it was truly time to leave._

 _Quinn followed her out,they shared a cab to the apartment. Quinn always stays over that their apartment when she visit the city._

 _As they are making there way home, it is Rachel that addresses the issue._

" _Quinn, while I truly appreciate what you did tonight, saying you were my girlfriend was uncalled for and highly unnecessary."_

" _I know, Rach-"_

" _Rachel"_

" _Yes, right Rachel, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable it just that, I saw an opportunity for you and took it, and I don't know the girlfriend thing just slipped out. I mean Santana is so lucky to have you. You are sweet, caring, forgiving. Inside and out you are just beautiful."_

 _Rachel couldn't help but blush at Quinn's compliment._

" _Stop… You don't mean that" Rachel said while trying to fight her blush_

" _But I do, Rachel you are amazing, talented, and gorgeous,and if you need to reminded everyday, so be it"_

 _Rachel stopped trying to fight the blush. After Quinn's mini speech. The cab ride was silent._

 _Quinn paid for the cab and they made their way up to the apartment._

 _When they arrived, Rachel found a sleeping Santana. She went to her room and brought Quinn a fresh towel._

 _While Quinn was getting ready for bed, Rachel prepared the side bed for the blond._

" _Quinn, again I just want to say thank you for tonight"_

 _Rachel gave the blond a friendly hug._

" _Stop saying thank you, you deserve it. And I know you will get the part"_

 _catching the brunette off guard, Quinn kissed Rachel on the cheek and whispered_

" _Goodnight" she whispered in her ear._

 _Rachel returned to her bed, cuddling up with a sleeping Santana._

 _It was after that night that Quinn began to text Rachel with daily compliments._

Rachel was broken out of her thoughts when she heard someone was knocking on her door.

A/N: Consider this part one of the reaction scene. Thank you for all the feedback, and continue to review and let me know what I should focus on and work on.

And thank you for taking the time to read this fic, I appreciate it. And Finally to answer JC14's question, It's both.


	20. Chapter 20

" _...I don't see her here was she not able to make it?"_

Ashley was the unexpected smoking gun, that shocked everyone's system.

Quinn who minutes before her conversation with Ashley began, was confident the pastry chef was was flirting with her, had not expected the staring and subtle glances would become her demise, and the bubbly girl her executioner.

As the last words left Ashley's mouth, Quinn's entire being froze. Her mind went into overdrive thinking of where she went wrong, she had been so careful to avoid this exact moment. How come, she hadn't recognized the girl? When had she become so oblivious to her surroundings?

Afraid to look at anyone in the eye, Quinn's gaze focused on the table in front of her. Unknown to her that the tension her body was radiating and her statue like stance was all everyone needed to confirm, what she was denying in her thoughts.

Taking Quinn's inability to refuse the statements presented was all Kurt, needed to confirm his suspicions. He had been trying to dig some dirt on the blond, but it proved to be a difficult task, since the blond made a complete change in her behavior recently.

He looked over at Rachel with sympathetic eyes, but he couldn't help but feel guilty. He brought Rachel and Quinn knowing very well that they were not welcomed. He is can't shake the feeling that this is all his fault. The fact that his best friend is being humiliated in one of the worst ways possible. He felt like a bully, and he couldn't stomach the feeling.

Dani and Brittany who had been monitoring the event all day, had not expected what occurred. Brittany was more sympathetic towards a distressed Rachel.

Brittany was more understanding toward Rachel, knowing how much the girl had suffered throughout high school, because of Quinn (Santana and herself Included), and again to be the center of attention and in such a negative light, must be painful. Unable to continue looking at Rachel's sadden features, any longer she looked at Dani, who was sporting a smirk.

Brittany, under any other circumstance might have considered it sexy, but right now that was not the case. Unlike Brittany, Dani did not share the same sympathy for Rachel, she had considered what had occurred well deserved Karma.

Brittany squeezed Dani's hand wiping the smirk, off her face. Knowing better than to say a word, Dani turned to face Brittany, mentally screaming at an unamused Brittany. Okay, so Dani can admit that maybe she shouldn't be amused by what is happening. But in her defense, Rachel and Quinn brought this among themselves. For one thing they weren't even suppose to be here. Two, no one told Quinn to be a homewrecker, and then go around cheating on her girlfriend. Lastly, Rachel should have known karma is a bitch.

It wasn't as if Dani's Heart was made of stone, while she will openly admit that she felt that she didn't like Rachel, she felt slightly bad that it just so happens to be that her girlfriend's dirty laundry was aired in public, and by association embarrassing Rachel.

Not knowing what she caused. Ashley was lost, she simply asked one question, thinking it would result in light conversation breaking the tense and awkward silence that was occurring before. She had no idea that her line of questioning would actually make matters worse.

She had recognized Quinn, since the woman had frequented her Bakery with her presumed girlfriend, Quinn and the brunette would go almost every morning at around the same time. Ashley didn't really exchange many words with Quinn, so she really didn't know the blond to well. But knowing a customer's order was part of her daily ritual and had become a necessity in order to run the small bakery quickly and efficiently.

Not quite understanding what she had caused, she looked at her girlfriend, but noticed that her Girlfriend was focused on Rachel, she hasn't been with Santana that long, but maybe it was just a common reaction of what just happened, but Ashley was jealous at the attention, Santana was giving Rachel.

Santana has never given Ashley the same attention, and while she was a bit jealous, she quickly pushed those thoughts aside, looking at Santana's saddened and hurt expression, she needed to help comfort the Latina, and apparently try not to cause anymore trouble.

Santana was staring at Rachel, and all she felt was pain. To see a broken and weak Rachel trying to keep her head up, in this disastrous moment, further emphasized by the silence that surrounded the table.

What Santana wouldn't do to change the events that had just occurred, she would do anything to see Rachel smile, and take away the pain she knew the shorter brunette was feeling. She would give anything to take back, what had just occurred. Santana had tricked herself into thinking that if she avoided thinking about Rachel, becoming numb to all matters that involved Rachel would be what she needed to move on.

But seeing Rachel so hurt, was not something she could avoid, seeing the girl she used to call her everything, in front of her so weak and fragile was something she could not ignore.

The worst part was seeing Rachel trying to distance herself from what was occurring. Seeing the brunette trying so hard to keep her composure. Santana wasn't surprised that it was Rachel to break the awkward silence, seeing that Quinn was indisposed at the moment.

However, when the words "open relationship" left Rachel's mouth, things changed. Santana felt frustrated that even know that Rachel knows the truth, she would still try to defend Quinn and her relationship.

Even though Santana was barely able to recognize Rachel, she still knew the short girl enough to know that she was lying. Seeing Kurt's facial expression, she knew she wasn't the only one thinking, that Rachel was infact lying.

Rachel might be a great actress, but she is not so good as to fool her best friend, and ex. As Rachel said goodbye, Santana's guilt magnified.

Santana has been no saint she has hurt Rachel, a number of times mostly bullying in high school, and that was how she was feeling right now like a bully. The way Rachel was humiliated, made the center of attention was like throwing the girl a slushy like she did so many times in high school, but worse.

She might not have been holding the cup, but bringing Ashley along not telling Rachel when she had the chance. She should have told Rachel, but she was afraid to face the girl, face her emotions, and because of her fears Rachel is now paying the price.

When Rachel left the backyard the silence was broken, and the tension was slowly disappearing. Dani thought that by turning on the music might help salvage the situation. As the music blared through the speakers, the people remained seated unsure of what to do whether they should leave or stay.

Brittany tried to lighten the mood trying to engage people in small talk, that worked for a while, but still it was easy to sense everyone's discomfort.

But whatever chance, there was to salvage this. event was ruined the moment Ashley exposed Quinn. People not wanting stay in the tense situation began to pack up and leave.

As the glee kids were leaving, Santana caught a glimpse of a furious looking Quinn approaching her. Even though Santana might not admit it in this lifetime, she was scared of the clearly unstable Quinn coming her way.

" YOU BITCH" Quinn screamed as she walked towards Santana.

"Quinn, Calm Down" Santana really did not want to deal with this right now.

"Are you really that fucking petty?"

"Quinn, what are you talking about?' Santana was confused, what the hell was Quinn talking about.

"Just because Rachel moved on to someone better doesn't mean, you had to bring a whore to tell lies about me" Quinn was furious, her face was red her nostrils flaring.

Santana didn't know what to do, but she automatically came to Ashley's defense addressing the main issue. Santana's mind was all over the place

"She's not lying Quinn, I fucking saw you"

No one was expecting Santana's answer, especially Quinn whose only response was to unexpectedly slap the latina. The slap heard around the yard, basically it captured the attention of everyone who was still in attendance.

Before the Latina could even register the hit. Brittany and jumped in to hold back a raging Santana.

"Suéltame, que le voy a dar a esa perra"

Puck who was still around heard a Spanish speaking Santana, and knew this was not good, along with a scared Kurt held back Quinn, before she could do more damage.

"Santana, calmate ella no vale la pena" Dani said trying to calm her down.

Unlike Santana who was trying to leave the restrained grasps of Brittany and Dani, Quinn allowed herself to be guided out by Kurt. Quinn seemed to quickly come to her senses after seeing the looks she was given by Mercedes and Puck on her way out.

Seeing Quinn leaving, seemed to have somewhat calmed the Latina. Santana looked over to see Ashley looking at her with a look she couldn't decipher. But the worse part was seeing Brittany and Dani look at her with a hint of disappointment.

She had just admitted to knowing that Quinn was cheating, and got slapped in the process.

The situation became a sort of divide and conquer. Kurt left with Quinn, Dani went to talk to Ashley, and Brittany went try and calm the Latina down.

Kurt didn't know what to say, he just led Quinn out of the yard and walked her towards her parent's home, which was just a few houses down. They walked in silence, Kurt wasn't sure what to do but since he was feeling responsible for what happened, he decided that he should at least walk a defeated looking Quinn home and make sure she gets there safely without causing anymore trouble.

They reached the porch and Quinn didn't even seem to realize until Kurt led her to the porch, she had been looking down the whole time.

"Quinn, I don't what is going on but get it together. What you did was uncalled for, especially after Rachel tried to save both of your reputations, by claiming some absurdity saying you are in an 'open relationship'"

"She said that?"

"Were you not paying attention, unlike you Rachel kept herself in check long enough to come up with that bullshit, and you just ruined it"

"Oh" was all that Quinn managed to respond,she was overwhelmed with emotions, not sure what she felt at the moment. She didn't know what to think, she went up to her old room leaving Kurt at the door.

She need time to think about what she was going to tell Rachel tomorrow, and whether or not she even wants to fight for this relationship. She wanted to be with Rachel for so long, and when she finally achieved it she fucked it up. Which begs the question did she really want Rachel? Why the hell did she break Santana and Rachel up?

At first she thought it was love, and if that was still the case, she had to do something to repair the damage. Or should this be the end she had embarrassed herself enough, should she just forget about everything and leave now that she had the chance.

"San, standstill" Brittany said looking at a Santana pacing back and forth in her yard. The Latina was angry more than anything, mostly because she couldn't get to slap that bitch. Something she should have done when she caught her with her girlfriend, well ex-girlfriend.

Watching the Latina pacing back and forth was making Brittany dizzy, so she did what as necessary, she man handled the Latina with caution making her stand still.

"It would be easier for both of us, if you share your thoughts Santana"

Hearing Brittany state her full name caught her attention.

"You are right, sorry, it's just I'm mad at Quinn, and all I keep thinking about is Rachel, and how she is basically alone because Quinn, came back and Kurt was here so that means she is probably dealing with everything alone." As Santana began rambling, she was finally processing the fact that Rachel was upset and alone, her first instinct was to go to see her and make sure she was okay.

"Britt, she can't be alone right now, with everything going on. I have to go see her"

Before Santana could leave, Brittany held her back.

"Santana, I understand you are worried about Rachel, but I think is best if you worry about Ashley right now"

Santana was about to say something when Brittany, cut her off knowing what the Latina was going to say.

"Don't worry I'll check up on Rachel"

Santana had forgotten about Ashley for a minute, as her mind was occupied by Rachel and unfortunately. But she still unsure about Brittany going to see Rachel. As if reading Santana's mind, Brittany decided to put her at ease.

"Rachel isn't my favorite person right now, but she is still my friend. I promise I will take care of it, but go and talk to Ashley, tackle one problem at a time"

Slightly convinced by Brittany, Santana decided to head over to Dani and Ashley who seemed to be in awkward conversation.

Seeing that Dani was stuck with Ashley, she tried to avoid talking about whatever the hell just went down. But it seems that Ashley did not have the same idea in mind.

"It wasn't a mutual break up was it?"

Dani really had no idea what to say, it wasn't her story to tell that was discussion Santana and Ashley had to have. She had no idea what Santana had told the girl and she really didn't want to give out information, and if today is any indicator somethings are better to keep to yourself.

"Um…. that's something between you and Santana?"

But Ashley wanted answers and try to make sense of what's going on. But no matter what she asked Dani was not budging.

As soon as Santana started walking towards them, Dani was more than grateful she didn't think she can last any longer with Ashley's interrogation.

Dani quickly made her way towards Brittany, but was disappointed when she saw the Blonde moving away from her.

"Where are you going?"

"I promised Santana, to check on Rachel"

"I'm going to the bar near the hotel, after this I could use a couple of drinks. I'll drop you off you if you want?"

Brittany nodded.

Brittany left with Dani leaving Santana and Ashley and Santana to talk.

After sitting down, Santana told Ashley the truth about her relationship with Rachel.

Ashley wasn't mad, just upset that Santana found the need to lie to her.

"Santana, I think you need closure, you have been in doubt and I think you need answers that sadly only Rachel can give you. I don't like the idea of you being with your ex even if it's only to talk, but you need to talk to her. "

Santana knew that Ashley was right, she never really got the closure she needed. But right now all she wanted was to stop all the thoughts running through her mind. After a few minutes and a less tense Santana, both women headed to their hotel room.

Hearing a knock on the door Rachel got up, thinking it was Quinn. "I don't want to talk to you Quinn"

The brunette was surprised to find Brittany standing outside holding a few bottles of wine.

"Brittany what are you doing here?"

"I promised San I would check on you. Plus, I know what it is like to regret leaving Santana thinking you found someone better. "

A/N: I'm glad you guys are enjoying the story, I have been really busy but I'm trying to update as quickly as I can.

1) To guest that said it was a bootleg flashback, I'm sorry you feel that way.

2) TO JC14 and Leelan22- Okay so maybe miserable isn't the right term, but before we can see Rachel and Santana together again. I think the characters have to grow as people, and also as the story continues on I will dive into the reasoning behind what happened, not only in their relationships but individually as well.


	21. Chapter 21

"You want to know the worst part is?" It seems that booze was the only thing needed to get Rachel talking.

"No, what?" The girl's antics had slightly amused Brittany.

"She wasn't even that good?" Rachel had not been talking coherently.

"Are we still talking about Streisand?" For the past half hour, Rachel had spoken about the lack of Streisand movies in the past decade, and how Guilt Trip wasn't some of her best work.

Rachel looked offended that Brittany even said her name.

"Of course not, Streisand is an excellent actress and singer."

"Who are you talking about then?" Brittany was getting lost in the conversation, and the fact that she wasn't sober was not aiding in the situation.

"Quinn, Q-U-I-N-N, Quinnnnn"

"What about Quinn?" Trying to keep up and remember the conversation had become a daunting task for both of them. Between the both of them, they have managed to drink a couple of bottles of wine.

"She wasn't even good."

Brittany was trying to figure out what Rachel was talking about.

"Good at what, at singing? Acting?"

"No, but now that you mention it she isn't as good as she thinks."

"Then what is she not good at?"

"She wasn't a good girlfriend" Rachel started laughing thinking about it. "And to think I felt bad about being with her, while thinking about Santana, and she was cheating on me. Life is a cruel joke." Rachel continued to laugh slightly. "And to top it all off, she didn't satisfy" Rachel did some attempt at moving her eyebrows suggestively.

Finally understanding what Rachel was implying, Brittany couldn't help but laugh. Not waiting for Brittany to respond, the short brunette began rambling again.

"I mean who doesn't invest time in a little foreplay, and it's not like what happens next makes up for it. Like she thinks one orgasm is enough, and it's over, and she won't even consider oral, and I don't mind, but her hands don't do a good job either."

"was sex that big of an issue?

"No, I mean we rarely had sex but I was trying to think of one positive thing about our relationship, and I can't even put sex on the pros list. I mean that whole relationship was doomed to fail and yet I allowed it to happen. Things with Santana were a far cry from perfect, they weren't even that good, but had I put dedication into our relationship it might have worked, we had love. But no I took the cowards way out, and now everything is messed up."

Brittany just let Rachel talk, it wasn't until she realized that the smaller girl had stopped talking and started crying.

"I was so stupid" Brittany moved closer to Rachel trying her best to comfort the sobbing girl, who continued to speak softly into her chest.

"I just couldn't handle it no more... feeling guilty... holding her back...she just wasn't the same..."

To Brittany it was hard to understand since Rachel had taken a liking to talking in fragments, She didn't know who she was referring to or what. After the girl had stopped talking, Brittany looked down to find the girl lightly snoring, and Brittany was quick to follow afterward.

Brittany and Rachel were woken up by someone knocking on the women woke up with a massive headache, and with desires to kill whoever was at the door. Rachel was the first one up and started making her way to find out at the door.

"I'm coming, stop knocking" Right Rachel wanted to go to sleep. Once she opened the door, she saw a disheveled Quinn standing outside.

"Rachel, look-"

"What time is it?" Rachel was not in the mood to deal with Quinn, or anyone really.

"Um, it's 1-"

"Didn't I say to come by at 4-"

"Yes, I couldn't sleep-"

Quinn listened attentively.

"Don't interrupt me Quinn, and I don't care if you couldn't sleep. I thought that at least you had the decency to follow one simple instruction. But instead, you show up here at an inconvenient interrupting my sleep for what Quinn. What do you want?"

Quinn who had just been standing there. Was suddenly speechless, she had never seen Rachel be so aggressive and intimidating, and apparently hungover. Surprised by Rachel's attitude, she stayed silent.

Rachel anger and and massive hangover was not allowing the small brunette to think clearly nor act with much thought.

"Hello, I'm talking to you. What do you want?"

"I want to talk, can I come in?"

Rachel didn't say anything she just opened the door and allowed to for Quinn to come in.

Quinn headed straight for the living room. Where she found a barely conscious Brittany spread out the couch, her head covered by pillows.

"Should we be having this conversation in front of Brittany?'

"What good is privacy, when you said everything that needed to be said in front of our friends. Don't look so surprised; Brittany told me everything."

"Rachel, I'm So-"

"Save it, Quinn I don't care about or want to hear your apologies. If you are here to apologize might as well leave right now, and if that is the case you're forgiven. Because I'm not innocent in any of this and I can't put the blame entirely on you. I got involved with you while in a relationship, and now I'm dealing with the consequences. So if all you have to say is "I'm sorry" you can leave."

"Rachel look I made a mistake, give me a second chance. All I am asking for is an opportunity to make it right."

Brittany scoffed in the background, quickly silencing herself and leaving the living room.

Quinn didn't sleep waiting for a reply from Marley, and after Marley's silence she came in hopes of making it work with Rachel. She didn't want to feel or be alone, and maybe Rachel shared the same sentiment and maybe they could work it out and finally have a healthy relationship. Quinn knew it wouldn't be perfect, but they would both gain companionship.

"Look Quinn, whatever we had was over. I fooled myself into thinking that a long term relationship was a good idea. It's not the same to go from the seeing each other for a couple of hours to a full-time relationship. I should have never been with you in the first place, my relationship with Santana was at a low point, and I took the coward's way out with you."

"So what, you think you can win Santana back. NEWSFLASH, that girl wants nothing to do with you. She knew I was cheating and didn't tell you."

Brittany had informed Rachel the day before, so it didn't come as a surprise. She wasn't upset; she had no right to be she pushed Santana out of her life. Therefore Santana had no need to interfere with the mess she had created for herself.

"I'm not trying to win anyone back Quinn, Just because I don't want to be with you, means that I am going to throw myself at Santana. If anything this whole experience has helped me realize I need some much needed time by myself. Which is exactly what I got out of this relationship anyways because you were always so busy 'working' with your friend".

"Rachel, come on. Honestly, me being here is doing you a favor. I'm giving us a chance so we can both be happy. I mean who is going to love you if they find out about your relationship history. you are nothing but a lying cheating bitch."

No words were said, and for a moment, Rachel had given up her pacifist ways, to slap Quinn not once but twice. Quinn was surprised at how Rachel remained calm as ever.

"I am staying in Lima for an extra three days, by the time I go back to New York I want all your things out of the apartment. Here is your ring." Rachel threw the ring on the floor.

"The ring was never meant for you," Quinn said with a smirk.

"My advice, you should seek out whoever you were going to give it to, and if she says yes stick by her because she is okay with being someone mediocre like you."

Quinn moved close to Rachel whispering in her ear.

"You never complained."

"I was clearly delusional."

Quinn turned red and left the house slamming the door closed on her way out.

"Brittany thank you for everything, but if you don't mind I want to be alone right now."

* * *

A/N

Thank you all the nice things you guys say. I'm excited that you not only admit to liking the story but loving it, and saying that you guys are anxious and looking forward to my next updates make me more excited to continue to the story, but also motivate to update quicker.

I hope you enjoy this chapter. Writing this chapter turned out to be more difficult than I expected. I had writer's block for a couple of days and my mind was blank about what to write. So hopefully this is somewhat decent or at least acceptable.

Last thing, I promise Rachel and Santana will speak next chapter. So that's what going to happen next, if you haven't given up on me after this chapter.


	22. Chapter 22

The first thing Rachel noticed was how beautiful Santana looked in the red dress she was wearing. She didn't look for too long fear of getting caught staring. Rachel was growing nervous at the fact that Quinn had yet to make an appearance. She was growing concerned of the blond, especially since she wasn't answering her phone.

After the ceremony, Rachel tried to get a hold of Quinn before the reception began but had no luck. She approached Kurt, but it seems that no one has been able to get a hold of the blond. Quinn might not be her favorite person right now, but she still concerned after seeing the state in which Quinn left.

She was broken out of her thoughts, when the girl she had been admiring all day, approached her. Santana seemed determined but nervous as well.

Rachel was about to say something, but Santana beat her to it. Both women knew that this conversation was long overdue. And that a greeting was not necessary.

"We need to talk" Short and to the point, was Santana's tactic.

Rachel just nodded and let Santana continue to speak. While she knew the conversation needed to occur, she preferred that it wasn't during the reception in case things got heated.

"Not here I'm staying in one of the rooms upstairs." Santana leaves tomorrow early for New York, and she promised herself she needed to have this conversation with Rachel before she left, her tone wasn't demanding she was speaking quite softly with no sense of authority. Almost afraid of Rachel saying no.

"Okay, do you want to head up now?" Rachel, however wasn't as nervous.

Santana let out soft "Yes" before they headed to the hotel room. Santana went to let Ashley know.

"Babe, if you need me, I'm just a few rooms down. I have my phone if anything happens text or call me, and I'll be there. " Ashley tried to be comforting as possible. She knew that Santana confronting her ex was no easy task. She gave Santana a quick peck before motioning her to go.

For a second Rachel couldn't help but feel jealous.

Santana came back, and they both headed upstairs away from the noise, she checked her phone one last time but still no response from Quinn.

The entered the room and being alone; there was without a doubt growing tension.

It was odd for Santana to see the person that once made her happy, the person she cared for standing in front of her and no longer knowing what to feel. Anger, sympathy, frustration, hurt, guilt, what was the right feeling for this moment. How easily they have both been victims of the wrong circumstances. Both women sat down no words exchanged, both fearing of breaking the silence, that seemed to comfort both women.

"I'm sorry," Rachel said barely audible.

"I read the note," Santana said more bitter than she intended to.

Rachel shifted uncomfortably in her seat and didn't dare to look up at the Latina.

Santana took a breath, composing herself in the tense situation they were in. She no intention of adding to the discomfort by coming across as bitter or rude.

"I need explanations. Why Quinn?"

Rachel still looking down.

"I don't know" Rachel response annoyed Santana.

"Don't lie to me, Rachel. We both know when people say 'I Don't know' its is to avoid telling the truth. because it is easier to say 'I don't know', its the perfect excuse."

"What do you want to know?" Rachel knew there was on point in delaying the truth.

"How long was it going on for?"

"Three months."

"You slept with her in our bed for months" Santana felt nauseous just thinking about sleeping in the same bed that Rachel and Quinn had sex

"No, the first time we had sex, well did anything physical really, was the day you caught us" Rachel was stumbling over her words, only speaking loud enough for Santana to hear

"Why Quinn? Why the text message? Rachel, why I need, know. Did you not love me?" Santana said raising her voice.

It hurt less thinking that it was more of a physical attraction between Quinn and Rachel, but learning it was an emotional affair was not something she anticipated. She thought Quinn was just offering Rachel nicer and better things, but emotional comfort was the one thing Santana thought she had offered Rachel.

Rachel finally looking at Santana

"Because Santana we were fighting all the time, and every single time we fought you had to bring up the fact that you gave up everything for me, and I grew tired. Tired of hearing you blame me for your choices I never asked you to drop out of school, I never told you take a second job, You did things for me, and then you would be upset about it later, and start acting passive aggressively. Every time I asked you to accompany me out, you conveniently changed your work schedule, or you were too busy staying at home."

Santana wanted to speak but refrained herself from doing so letting Rachel speak. Rachel's neutral demeanor quickly changed she was doing her best not to let the emotions get the best of her; she was on the verge of tears very much like Santana.

"I just couldn't take it no more, being the reason your life was so miserable. Every wrong decision somehow ended up being my fault. Quinn was just there, every time you were too busy to go to a production or get together she was there when you didn't want to be. As for the text message, it wasn't my idea Quinn said it would make me feel better, had I broken things off first. Believe it or not, I will always love you, but I couldn't live with you resenting me. I just wanted to be with you, for who you were not because you could provide for me of because you showed your commitment through sacrifices I never asked for."

Rachel had held on to the text message as some technicality, but it wasn't even her idea it was Quinn's. Quinn convinced her it was the best thing to do in their circumstance, except they never counted on her walking in. She had held on so much significance on a text she never actually intended on sending. Quinn was right for a while it comforted her, knowing that she didn't exactly cheat, but right now that meant nothing, it just made her feel worse.

Santana was trying to find the right words to say.

'Why. Why didn't you tell me you felt this way?"

"I tried so many times, but you it would just say that you never had these issues with your exes, and how you treated me better than them. As if that answer was supposed to fix our problems. And to answer your previous question. I did love you, believe it or not, I still do but I made a mistake, I gave up. I ran like a coward to the easiest and yet the worst solution. I found someone who on paper should have made me happy. But Quinn didn't."

Rachel got everything she needs off her chest, Leaving Santana speechless. Both women were tearing. Santana had no idea what to say or do. She thought she was doing right by Rachel, but it turns out everything she thought she did right was the opposite.

Santana tried to say something but no words came out. She was left sitting looking at Rachel.

The silence was broken by Rachel's phone ringing. It was an unknown number.

"Hello… yes, this is Rachel Berry… what? Is she okay… I'll be there now."

Rachel quickly gathered her belongings.

"Where are you going?" Santana reacted to seeing Rachel acting so frantically.

"Quinn's in the Hospital"

Not wanting Rachel to go by herself Santana decided to accompany her.

"I'll drive you there."

A/N:

The title comes from a Spanish Song by Joaquin Sabina called 19 días y 500 noches, and it bears little to no resemblance to the story. I just like the song and the title.


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